Imagine a situation. You go to the kitchen, open a fridge, and then see your mom appear.
“You’re looking a bit puffy today,” she starts, eyes scanning you. “Maybe skip breakfast today?” If this scenario sounds all too familiar, you might be the daughter of an almond mom.
It’s like walking on eggshells, constantly feeling judged and restricted. Living under the shadow of food fear and body criticism may leave lasting scars and develop into weight obsession and low self-esteem in adulthood.
How can you tell if you’re the daughter of an almond mom? We’ve compiled the most common signs to look out for.
7 signs that you are the daughter of an almond mom
So, what is an almond mom? This is a popular trend on social media, particularly TikTok, where users share their experiences and frustrations with having a mother who is overly focused on health and nutrition, often to the point of obsession.
The term “almond mom” originated from a viral video featuring almond mom Yolanda Hadid, where she suggested her daughter eat only a few almonds when feeling unwell.
This sparked criticism for promoting unhealthy eating habits and led to the coining of the term to describe almond parents who overly focus on restrictive diets for their children.
So, what are the potential signs of a daughter who grew up with an almond mom? Here are the common ones:
- Obsessive about diet and exercise
- You tend to please people
- Everything needs to be perfect
- Your self-esteem is low
- Difficulty trusting own judgment
- Overly sensitive to criticism
- Hypervigilance
Now, let’s examine each one closely.
1. Obsessive about diet and exercise
Daughters of almond moms may develop an obsessive focus on health and appearance. This can manifest in strict dietary restrictions, calorie counting, or intense workout routines.
For example, you might avoid entire food groups, weigh yourself multiple times a day, or spend hours at the gym, neglecting other aspects of life.
Also, almond mom behavior can instill a fear of gaining weight or experiencing bodily changes, so you may start asking yourself, “Why am I such a failure?”
Such dynamics can lead to eating disorders, malnutrition, body dysmorphia, and social isolation.
2. You tend to please people
Feeling guilty when it seems your mom is mad? A lot of thoughts might race through your mind, like, “Did I eat more than I needed? Or maybe I didn’t work out at the gym enough?”
You may feel lost and don’t know what to do, so you start to please her by eating even less and exercising more so your almond mom can be content with your dynamic.
Indeed, people-pleasing tendencies might be a symptom of daughters of almond moms as well as one of many symptoms of daughters of narcissistic mothers.
The thing is that fawn trauma is the common response observed in children of narcissistic parents.
It’s a survival mechanism where the child learns to excessively please and accommodate the parent’s needs to avoid their unpredictable and often harsh reactions.
3. Everything needs to be perfect
Because there is no other way for you as a daughter of an almond mom.
Almond mothers may set high expectations for their daughters, contributing to a perfectionist mindset. This may lead daughters to develop golden child syndrome.
Unlike a scapegoat child, the golden child is the favored one in families and is seen as the family’s hope.
As a result, such children may feel pressure to be flawless in all areas of life, from academics to relationships.
They may be afraid to make mistakes, procrastinate on tasks, and have difficulty accepting criticism, which may lead the daughters of almond moms to chronic stress and anxiety.
4. Your self-esteem is low
Another sign of daughters of almond mothers. Constant criticism or comparison to others may erode a daughter’s self-worth.
Low self-esteem, born from childhood trauma, can manifest in various ways, such as a pervasive sense of inadequacy, difficulty trusting others, and struggles with intimacy.
Children of almond dads or moms may find themselves constantly seeking external validation, comparing themselves unfavorably to others, and engaging in self-destructive behaviors.
5. Difficulty trusting own judgment
Almond mother may also be a helicopter parent, often referred to as an overbearing mother. The one who makes decisions for you, disregards your privacy, or struggles to let go as you grow older.
Raised in such a controlled environment, daughters of almond moms get used to such control and the idea that others make decisions for them.
They might rely on others for guidance, even in minor matters, and find it challenging to trust their own judgment.
Eventually, this lack of autonomy may impact various areas of life, from relationships to career choices.
6. Overly sensitive to criticism
Constant evaluation and feedback from an almond mom can make daughters highly sensitive to criticism.
For example, it may be hard to handle negative feedback at work, fearing it as a personal attack rather than an opportunity for growth.
This pattern of interpreting neutral or even positive comments as negative may create a cycle of self-doubt and fear of rejection, contributing to mother wound in daughters of almond mothers.
As a result, such daughters may struggle to differentiate between constructive criticism and personal attacks, wondering, “Why am I so sensitive to what people say?”
7. Hypervigilance
You may ask yourself, “Why am I so emotional?”Maybe there were loud arguments, unpredictable punishments for eating too much, or emotional abuse.
Does it sound like you? If yes, that might also be a sign that you are a daughter of an almond mom.
You might always expect the other shoe to drop, so you’re constantly scanning your surroundings for signs of danger.
Even when things are calm, your body feels tense and ready to react. Such things might be exhausting, leading to depression, anxiety, panic attacks, or troubles in relationships.
I have an almond mom. How can I heal?
Many moms have the best intentions, but their actions, often rooted in their own experiences or anxieties, can unintentionally build insecurities and damage their children’s self-esteem.
This is particularly true for those who exhibit “almond mom” tendencies, which are characterized by excessive worry, control, and criticism.
So, is there something to do? Definitely.
If you find yourself in this situation, know that you’re not alone and that there is hope for healing.
- Clearly communicate your needs and limits. For example, if your mom frequently comments on your weight, calmly and assertively say, “Mom, I appreciate your concern, but I’m comfortable with my body.” This can be difficult, but it’s essential for your well-being.
- Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your experiences. Sharing your feelings can be incredibly therapeutic and help you gain perspective.
- Focus on your strengths and accomplishments. Focus on what your body can do rather than how it looks. Engage in physical activities you enjoy for fun, not just for weight loss. Remember, your size does not determine your worth.
So, how to establish healthy boundaries with the almond mom so that both parties feel okay? We asked Imani Bowman, LCPC, LPC, ACS:
“Having healthy boundaries with your ‘almond mom’ may be difficult but not impossible. Setting boundaries involves a balance between communication and respect.
As the child of an ‘almond mom’, the most important thing to remember is that boundaries are a way of preserving your relationship with your mother.
The first step is to understand your needs and clearly communicate your boundaries. From there, you will need to make adjustments to honor those boundaries. Remember, boundaries are for YOU to respect, not the other person.”
FAQ about almond mom
1. Butter moms & almond moms: What’s the difference?
Butter moms are all about indulgence and comfort food. It’s more about homemade lasagna and warm chocolate chip cookies.
Almond moms are the opposite, focusing on clean eating and health, like quinoa bowls and kale smoothies.
2. Almond mom & crunchy mom: What’s the difference?
As we already know, almond moms are all about the perfect diet and lifestyle, often focusing on restrictive eating and expensive products.
Crunchy moms, on the other hand, prioritize natural living (natural remedies, essential oils, and homeschooling) and often DIY everything from baby food to cleaning supplies.
3. What are almond mom stereotypes?
Mostly, almond moms might be associated with the following things:
- Obsessed with organic food
- Highly involved in school activities
- Expert in child development
- Knows the ingredients of every product
- Practices mindfulness and meditation
3. Can an almond mom change?
It’s possible, but it may require professional help. Encouraging your mom to seek therapy or counseling can be beneficial.
