Becoming the best version of yourself is a transformative experience that requires commitment, self-awareness, and continuous improvement. It all boils down to constantly choosing actions that align with your values and objectives in life.
Whether you want to change your mindset, reach your goals, or leave your comfort zone, the following 10 suggestions on how to be the best version of yourself can help you reach your full potential.
What Does It Mean to Be the Best Version of Yourself?
Becoming your best self means living according to your values, building a meaningful life, and finding purpose and fulfillment. It’s not about perfection, but about constant growth and self-improvement in all areas of life.
If you wonder how to be a better person in everyday life, you should also pay attention to your self-awareness to realize your strengths and weaknesses, your desires, fears, and limitations [1].
Want to gain a deeper understanding of your emotions or wonder how to feel your feelings? Take the Emotional Intelligence test! Being self-aware might help you make choices that reflect who you really are rather than being driven by the pressures of the outside world.
We asked Nicole Arzt, LMFT, what it means to be the best version of yourself.
Becoming the best version of yourself is an ongoing process. Everyone’s definition for their ‘best self’ is different. With that, there is no “fixed” destination of ‘being your best’; instead, it’s about continuously striving to understand and meet your needs. It’s also about reflecting on where you may need to make improvements in life.
How to Understand That Transformations Are Necessary?
Most people may feel the need for transformation during moments of discomfort, disruption, or deep reflection. Here are some common signs you may need transformations for personal development:
1. Crisis or Burnout
When someone hits emotional, physical, or professional exhaustion, they often realize something must change. If you wonder how to recover from burnout, it can be a powerful wake-up call of your unconscious mind.
2. Life Transitions
Major changes like a breakup, job loss or changing a job, moving to a new place, or becoming the best parent may prompt self-reflection and a desire to grow or reset.
3. Chronic Dissatisfaction
When daily life feels unfulfilling or misaligned with personal values, people begin to feel an urge to transform their lives, even if they can’t yet define what needs to change. If your favorite hobbies no longer inspire you, or you are not interested in your favorite activities, then your interests or previous goals have changed, and it is time to look for new ideas.
4. Feeling of Stagnation
If you feel that you are stuck, mentally checked out, and don’t have the opportunity to grow, like there are no breakthroughs in your life, this is an indicator that the time for change has come.
5. Jealousy
Seeing someone else grow, overcome challenges, or live authentically makes you jealous and compare yourself unfavorably, lowering your self-esteem. Or, it can spark conscious thoughts like: “If they can do it, maybe I can do it too.”
10 Tips to Help You Become the Best Version of Yourself
Working on yourself includes a variety of aspects: from setting inspiring goals to paying more attention to health. This also includes the processes of knowing and accepting yourself, overcoming limiting beliefs and fears, and finding the driving force for growth.
A person has a huge potential for self-improvement. Taking small steps every day, you get closer to the best version of yourself. The main thing is to keep moving forward, no matter what happens.
1. Practice Self-Compassion and Self-Acceptance
Generally, becoming the best self of yourself doesn’t mean being perfect—it means being kind to yourself, especially when difficulties happen [2]. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend. Consider setbacks valuable experiences and opportunities for growth.
For instance, when you make a mistake, instead of being critical of yourself, ask, “What can I learn from this?” Analyze what exactly went wrong. What could have been done differently? What could be the first step to fix it?
Then, learn from the experience and use it to grow and move forward with confidence. When we accept ourselves with our life circumstances and troubles, it makes us happier [3]. What aspects are important to accept?
1. Your past. You can’t change it. But you can accept it with love. This may help you let go of regrets and resentments. Don’t judge yourself harshly for the mistakes you’ve made in your life.
2. The uncertainty of the future. You can only control your actions, choices, and mindset today. The future is unknown; try to accept this fact and learn to live with it.
3. Compliments. Try not to brush off praise and accept it with gratitude. If people tell you about your strengths or achievements, it’s because they see something valuable in you, and you deserve it.
4. Criticism. Listen to comments constructively, try to not take things personally. Benefit from criticism to become the best version of yourself.
6. Help. Don’t be shy about asking for support. Try to allow yourself to express your own thoughts, emotions, and needs. While it may feel uncomfortable at times, vulnerability may lead to deeper connections, authentic relationships, and self-development [4].
2. Set Clear and Meaningful Goals
Research shows that people with higher levels of mindfulness are more likely to set goals that align with their core values [5].
Want to identify which basic human values align with you and get valuable insights into what you stand for? Take an informative “What Are My Values?” Quiz to better understand and analyze the key motives behind your actions.
Generally, specific goals may give direction and meaning to our actions. Try to set ambitious, but realistic goals that will motivate and inspire you every day in your job and personal life. To work effectively towards achieving them, you may try the following mental push-ups:
1. Write down all your goals to focus and formalize your intentions.
2. Set goals according to the SMART principle–specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. For instance: “Attend two networking events per month” or “Complete an online course in project management within 3 months,” rather than just aiming to “get a promotion.”
3. Break big goals into small, manageable “to-dos” to stay focused, reduce overwhelm, and create a consistent path to success.
4. Make an action plan to achieve the goal and stick to it. Review this list as needed and realistically assess your strengths. Be prepared to change something.
5. Find like-minded people and get support from others in real life or on social networks to increase your motivation.
6. Visualize yourself achieving the goal. Be prepared to fulfill it. Imagine the feelings of achieving it. You may also use positive affirmations such as:
- “I trust in my skills and believe in my limitless potential.”
- “I take inspired action towards my success every day.”
- “I am successful and worthy of my accomplishments.”
- “I am aligned with opportunities that help me grow and thrive.”
3. Prioritize Self-Care
According to Southern New Hampshire University research, self-care routines improve focus, happiness, and energy [6]. To maintain a healthy lifestyle, you don’t have to torture yourself with a strict diet or exhaust yourself with exercises at the gym:
- Control your eating habits. Eat more vegetables, fruits, and whole grains. Try to limit fast food, sweets, and soda.
- Eat breakfast. According to the Big Breakfast Study, it gives you energy for the whole day and helps control your appetite [7]. Drink at least two liters of clean water a day. You can add lemon and herbs.
- Do sports that you like. This can be fast walking, cycling, or swimming.
- Move at least 30 minutes a day. Try to walk as much as possible instead of using transport, take the stairs, not the elevator/escalator. You can also take breaks during the work day to do a quick warm-up.
- Sleep at least 7-8 hours. Keep a routine and go to bed and wake up at about the same time.
- Relieve stress with mindfulness activities. Spending conscious time practicing mindfulness can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and surroundings, which in turn may improve your focus, mood, and productivity [8]. You can try meditation, yoga, deep breathing exercises, and relaxing baths to quiet your mind and center yourself.
4. Cultivate a Growth Mindset
A growth mindset is the belief that your abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. The concept was pioneered by Stanford professor Carol Dweck in her book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” (2006). Dweck’s studies show that students with a growth mindset consistently outperform students with a fixed mindset [9].
If you want to become a better person, try to approach life with a growth mindset. As this approach encourages a passion for learning and a desire to grab opportunities, it may help you achieve your goals and live a more fulfilling life.
For instance, if you find public speaking intimidating, instead of thinking, “I’m not good at this,” try telling yourself, “I have the potential to improve and grow with practice.” This allows you to embrace imperfection and strengthen your skills. As a result, this shift in perspective can make a huge difference in your progress.
As an illustration, let’s consider an example of Emma Watson, the actress known for playing Hermione in Harry Potter. She used to be very nervous about public speaking, but she began to give speeches as a UN Women Goodwill Ambassador.
She started small, practicing her speeches, getting coaching, and speaking in smaller groups instead of saying, “I’m terrible at this.” She gained self-assurance over time and delivered powerful speeches, such as the well-known HeForShe speech at the UN.
It’s a great example of how taking it step by step and believing in your potential to grow can help overcome fear, even if you’re already famous.
5. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences
Positive and ambitious people may motivate you and fuel your personal growth. Here are some recommendations that will help you create a positive environment in your life:
1. Attend thematic events where you can meet interesting people, such as conferences, trainings, and business breakfasts. Join communities of interest on social networks. There you may meet like-minded people and see new opportunities.
2. At work, communicate more with colleagues who inspire you. Share your values and ideas, and joint projects.
3. Follow inspiring people on social networks and keep in touch with them. Try to communicate with mentors and experts in your field.
4. Set boundaries or limit time with people who constantly complain and focus on the negative. Consider whether you are in toxic friendships and think about the influence of these relationships on your well-being.
Want to find out what kind of people are most likely to inspire and support your growth? Take the personality type test to better understand your strengths and who you thrive around.
6. Be Self-Aware and Authentic
If you wonder how to become the best version of yourself, don’t hide behind a mask or try to conform to other people’s expectations. It is important to regularly ask yourself self-reflection questions about your values, beliefs, and behavior. The following tools will help you in the process of exploring yourself:
1. Journaling. Write down all your thoughts, feelings, and observations about yourself. Try to reread old entries regularly, and you may see your personal growth.
2. Trying new things. You may learn about your strengths and weaknesses by testing yourself in different situations.
3. Studying the history of your family. Understanding where you come from and what your roots are can explain a lot about your personality and give answers to many of your questions.
4. A purpose in life. Striving for it may help reveal your true aspirations and calling.
7. Learn to Manage Your Time Wisely
Based on a study by King’s College London, 49% of adults felt their attention span had shortened, and 47% believed deep thinking was fading [10]. That’s why it’s important to take control of your time by prioritizing tasks that align with your goals. Use tools like to-do lists, time-blocking, or the Pomodoro technique to stay organized and productive. As a result, by managing your time well, you may have more energy for what matters most.
8. Develop Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your emotions, as well as empathize with others. Developing EQ helps people communicate effectively, be emotionally available, and build stronger relationships. People with high emotional intelligence are able to respond thoughtfully to obstacle-filled situations and conflicts rather than reacting impulsively [11].
Moreover, EQ can directly impact career success. A TalentSmart study found that, on average, people with high emotional intelligence earn $29,000 more annually than those with low emotional intelligence.
If you want to increase your emotional intelligence in the workplace or wonder how to be a better friend, here are some key EQ skills that may improve your communication:
- Listen actively without judgment.
- Even if you disagree, try to understand the other person’s point of view.
- Pause before you act, particularly in stressful situations.
- To reduce stress, take mindful breaks or practice deep breathing throughout the day.
- Get comfortable offering and accepting constructive criticism.
- Look for win-win solutions.
- Ask more questions, especially open-ended ones like “What’s been on your mind lately?”
9. Be grateful
Appreciate what you have to stay positive and find joy in small things. If you still find it difficult to be grateful, here are some tips on how to make it your habit:
1. Every morning, list five things you are grateful for. These include health, family, clothes, food, weather, new ideas, and opportunities.
2. Keep a gratitude journal where you write down positive moments of the day, even the smallest ones.
3. Thank people for their help and support. Don’t be shy about expressing gratitude in words.
4. Rejoice in the successes of friends and colleagues and tell them about it.
5. Under challenging moments, remember the difficulties you have already overcome. This can help you move forward and believe in yourself.
6. Create a ritual of sharing gratitude with your family or friends, for example, over evening tea or dinner on weekends. Let everyone talk about a positive moment that marked the past day or week.
10. Set Boundaries
Set boundaries to clearly define what is okay and what’s not in your relationships, work, and personal life. Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out but about protecting your time, energy, and emotional stability. By learning to say no when you need to and putting your needs first, you can give yourself space to show up fully in all areas of life without burning out.
Typically, when you set boundaries, you create a world that supports your personal growth [12]. Boundaries allow you to be present for others without neglecting yourself, and work hard without feeling depleted.
For example, if you find yourself constantly checking emails or working on weekends, it may be a sign that your work boundaries are too loose. To get back in balance, learn to say “no” to work tasks when you have a scheduled break. Set a clear boundary like “no work emails after 7 p.m.” or “weekends are for family time.”
Eventually, this will help you protect your personal time and allow you to recharge and be fully present with loved ones.
Then when you go back to work you’ll feel more rested and focused and more productive. In the end, setting boundaries and balance are key to becoming a better person as they give you the foundation for growth in all areas of life.
How to Find the Motivation to Be the Best Version of Yourself?
Ultimately, becoming the best version of yourself is a process, not a destination [12]. It’s about showing up for yourself and embracing both your progress and your imperfections:
1. Define what “your best” means to you
Your version of success is unique to you. So, don’t compare yourself to others. Instead, focus on what you value—whether it’s emotional strength, creativity, kindness, desire to feel loved, discipline, or resilience:
- Write down your values. For example, ask yourself, “What qualities make me proud of who I am?” or “What kind of person do I want to be remembered as?”
- Set weekly focus traits: Choose one quality (e.g., kindness or confidence) to focus on each week. Reflect on how you practiced it.
2. Imagine your ideal self
Take a few minutes each day to imagine the person you want to become. How do they speak, think, and act? Visualization helps align your daily choices with your long-term vision and keeps you emotionally connected to your specific goals:
- Write a personal definition of success. This could be as simple as “I want to stay calm under stress” or “I want to become confident.”
- Create a “best self” vision board. Include images, quotes, or goals that reflect the version of you that you want to grow into.
3. Find your “why”
Knowing why you want to grow gives your actions purpose. Whether it’s for your family, your health, or your happiness, a clear reason provides fuel when motivation runs low:
- Tie goals to your “why”: When setting goals, ask: “How does this serve my deeper purpose?” This can make your goals more meaningful and easier to stick with.
- Break it down: If your “why” feels big (e.g., “I want to make a difference”), break it into small, daily expressions—like helping one person or learning one new thing. In this case, mentoring, volunteering, or simply supporting a friend can remind you of your value and inspire you to keep putting effort into your personal growth.
4. Eliminate distractions
Limit time on social media, reduce clutter in your space, and say no to things that drain your energy. Create mental and physical space to stay focused on what matters most in life:
- Mute comparison triggers: Limit your social media activity and situations that may lead to unfair comparisons.
- Set screen time limits: Use app blockers like Freedom, Forest, or your phone’s settings to limit time spent on distracting apps.
- Clean your space for a clearer mind. Spend 10 minutes daily tidying your desk, workspace, or digital files.
- Turn off non-essential notifications: Only keep alerts for messages or apps that are truly important. Silence the rest.
- Build a “focus ritual”: Create a routine (like making tea, putting on calm music, or lighting a candle) to signal your brain it’s time to concentrate.
- Protect your boundaries: Learn to say no to social plans, favors, or tasks that don’t align with your priorities.
- Take intentional breaks: Use breaks for activities to recharge. It may be stepping outside, stretching, or taking deep breaths, not mindless scrolling.
Nicole Arzt, LMFT, explained how to find the motivation to be the best version of yourself.
Although it may sound counterintuitive, try to shift away from leaning on motivation to change yourself. Motivation is fleeting; it’s an emotional state that can inherently wax and wane. Instead, strive to cultivate a sense of discipline. Instill habits that you can build upon regularly and practice self-compassion when your inevitable humanness arises.
The Example of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson: From Depression to Discipline
Dwayne Johnson, one of the most successful actors and former pro wrestlers, has talked openly about his struggles with depression, especially in his early 20s when he got cut from his football team and felt like his dreams were crumbling.
What was his turning point?
- He started training daily. After hitting rock bottom, Johnson started working out every day to deal with emotional pain. He says the gym became his “safe space” and helped him rebuild his confidence and mindset.
- He created a daily routine. Johnson started waking up early (often 4 a.m.) to train, meditate, and plan his day. That structure gave him control.
- He focused on gratitude and discipline. Instead of dwelling on what happened in the past and what he lost, he focused on what he could create, starting with small goals and then bigger ones.
Dwayne Johnson’s top tips:
- “Focus on what you can control.” Even in chaos, you can choose your response.
- “Be the hardest worker in the room.” Effort builds push-ups and self-belief.
- “It’s okay to ask for help.” He encourages people (especially men) not to be afraid of talking about mental health.
- “Start small, but stay consistent.” His discipline didn’t start big, but it was daily repetition over time.
Johnson’s journey demonstrates that even a person who seems invincibly strong can experience intense lows. However, with action, changes in routine, and a mindset, it’s possible to overcome challenges.
Sources
- Harvard Business Review. “To Become Your Best Self, Study Your Successes”. May, 2019.
- TEDx Talks. “The Ultimate guide to becoming the best version of yourself.” February, 2023.
- Harvard Health Publishing. Greater self-acceptance improves emotional well-being. May, 2016.
- Lawrence Ip. Empowered Transformation – Integrating Vulnerability, Risk, and Accountability for Personal Growth. January 2024.
- Aidan P.J. Smyth, Kaitlyn M. Werner, Marina Milyavskaya, Anne Holding, Richard Koestner. “Do mindful people set better goals? Investigating the relation between trait mindfulness, self-concordance, and goal progress”. October 2020.
- Dr. Matt Glowiak. “What is Self-Care and Why is it Important For You?” January, 2024.
- Ruddick-Collins LC, Johnston JD, Morgan PJ, Johnstone AM. The Big Breakfast Study: Chrono-nutrition influence on energy expenditure and bodyweight. June 2018.
- Marieke Karlijn Van Vugt. “Mindfulness as a Potential Tool for Productivity.” May, 2019.
- Stanford University. “Growth Mindset and Enhanced Learning”.
- King’s College London. “Are attention spans really collapsing?” February, 2022.
- Alan Price. “The Importance Of Emotional Intelligence At Work”. July, 2023.
- Taras Chernata. “Personal boundaries: definition, role, and impact on mental health.” March, 2024.
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