Making friends as an adult can feel challenging, especially with busy schedules and fewer opportunities to form new connections. However, it is often worth the effort—the American Psychological Association revealed that people with friends and close confidants are happier than those who don’t have friends [1].
So, if you’re wondering how to foster connections as an adult, here are effective strategies to find new relationships and form meaningful friendships.
11 Effective Ways for Making Friends as an Adult
The recent research published in PubMed found that spending time with friends can boost your happiness, and the importance of adult friendship to happiness increases with age [2]. Here are 11 practical ways how to meet new people as an adult:
1. Take a Closer Look at the People Around You
Maybe you’ve been wanting to chat with one of your colleagues for a long time? You can make a list of people who you see as potential friends and invite them one by one for a chat over a cup of coffee.
If you work remotely and find it difficult to organize a joint lunch break, there are still ways to connect with colleagues and meet friends outside of work chats. One option is to reach out to them via social media.
To ensure your invitation to meet happens organically and feels natural, begin the conversation with a friendly and non-intrusive question. For example: “Hi! I was really impressed by your project. Would you like to grab a snack sometime so you can tell me more about how it came together?” Or, show them you have shared interests: “I noticed in the chat that you’re into photography. Would you be open to giving me a quick lesson?”
Additionally, company networking events offer great opportunities to make new connections. If you’re nervous about approaching a new person in hopes of fostering a connection – preparing a few conversation topics in advance can help ease the pressure.
Another idea for finding friends may be connecting with a neighbor or someone in your local group. You could invite them for a walk in the park, to a local library, or a quick chat over tea. To keep the conversation light and casual, you may say: “Hi! I’ve seen you around and wanted to introduce myself. I love the gardening work you’re doing in your yard! Any tips for a beginner?”
Various studies have also found that people with higher levels of empathy are better at detecting people’s needs and providing them with higher-quality advice and support [3]. So, if you are wondering how to be a better friend, take a simple and informative emotional intelligence test!
2. Meet Your Friends’ Friends
In this case, the saying “Tell me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you who you are” may hold true — your friends tend to surround themselves with like-minded people who share similar interests and values. So, it makes sense that their friends could be just as interesting, fun, and awesome as they are.
If you wonder how to make friends as a young adult, why not take the opportunity to hang out with your friends’ friends? For example, accept invitations from your friend to a gathering or a night out, go ahead and join in.
As a result, you might not only enjoy spending time with your friend but also meet new friends in the process. Plus, since you already have a friend in common, the conversation flows much more easily.
You could also casually suggest to your friend, “Hey, I’d love to meet more of your friends. Maybe we could all grab a coffee or go to a running club or book club together sometime.” You never know—one of their great friends could have common interests and become one of your lasting friendships.
Whether you’re outgoing or more on the shy side, knowing how likable you are can help boost your charisma and help you form adult friendships. Take the likeable person test to see how you attract people and get tips to improve your social charm to find best friends!
3. Go Study
Even if school and university are behind you, you can still experience student life as a natural way of cultivating friendships as an adult. Courses in a foreign language you have always wanted to learn, such as creative writing, painting, programming, or cooking class—all these are opportunities to meet friends through self-improvement or simply doing something you enjoy. Even participating in more casual classes such as monthly art classes, or community offered events could present new opportunities to meet approachable people.
Tip
For the best experience, opt for long or repetitive, in-person courses to have enough time to get to know people, whether by chatting during breaks, grabbing a coffee together, or walking home after class. This way you are more likely to find your best friends.
4. Try a Team Extreme Experience
Try hiking, rafting, conquering a mountain peak, or going on a weekend camping trip—depending on your preferences and love of extreme sports. How people behave in those situations may say a lot about them in real life. Do they stay calm and help others, or do they lose their temper? Moments like these are really helpful in making friends as an adult as they may show you who’s easy to rely on and can potentially become your best friend. Sharing unique experiences can also pave the way for easy conversation and relating to one another.
According to scientists from Cornell University and the University of Pittsburgh, shared extraordinary experiences bring people closer [4]. Thus, such an adventurous trip, with its mix of emotions and memories, may become a solid foundation for deeper connections.
So it’s possible that by the end of the trip, those people you didn’t know well at the start will feel like close friends. Once you’re back to everyday life, these friendships may stick because you’ve already been through something together.
5. Attend Networking or Social Events
These events are designed for exactly that—connecting with others in a relaxed, informal setting with group games and small talks during a coffee break. Activities like these make it easier to start communication, so even if you’re a little shy, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to make acquaintances and real friends.
6. Use “The Strength of Weak Ties”
“The strength of weak ties” is a concept introduced by sociologist Mark Granovetter in 1973. The main idea is that people you don’t know that well can actually be valuable when it comes to making friends as an adult [5].
Here’s how Granovetter saw it:
- Strong ties are your close friends or family members who you talk to all the time and know well. You usually share the same social circle.
- Weak ties are people you don’t hang out with often — like some childhood friendships, college friends you don’t interact with much, or a friend’s friend.
So, weak ties can open up new doors that you wouldn’t have access to through your close friends. They help you expand your network, meet new friends with shared interests, and discover things you wouldn’t otherwise.
7. Try Volunteering
Thinking about how to make new friends while also doing something meaningful? When you volunteer, you’re usually surrounded by people who value personal growth and care about the same causes as you do, which gives you an instant connection and motivation to be the best version of yourself. Also, there is a natural sense of community when working toward a common goal with others.
Whether you’re helping at a food bank, cleaning up a park, or playing with kids in a local community center, you’re working together toward a shared goal, and that can really bond you with others and form new relationships, according to a study by the University of Oxford [6].
8. Take A Solo Trip
As reported by The Guardian, Google searches for solo travel have quadrupled since 2020 [7]. At the same time, when you travel alone, you’re more likely to step outside your comfort zone and be open to new experiences [8]. It, in turn, increases the chances of making friends as an adult.
When preparing for your trip, use social media and travel apps. For example, on Couchsurfing, you can stay with locals, who may show you around or introduce you to their friends. Another app, Meetup, allows you to find events or groups in a new city where you can join activities and also meet new friends.
At the same time, many hostels, guesthouses, or shared Airbnb spaces organize events, like happy hours, tours, or communal meals. Here you can meet people all over the world and make friends.
If you’re working while traveling in a co-working space, you can find new friendships among other solo travelers or digital nomads who are often eager to socialize, network, and share experiences.
9. Go to Open Mic Nights, Comedy Shows or Improv Class
If you’re into live performances, going to open mic nights or comedy shows allows you to make new friends in a relaxed and fun atmosphere. It’s a low-pressure way of making friends in your 20s or 40s while enjoying some entertainment. There, you can share a laugh or start a conversation with other audience members who enjoy the same jokes or acts to find adult friendships.
One of the best advice is also to join an improv class as a fun way to step out of your comfort zone while meeting new friends. Since these classes require participation and collaboration, you may naturally bond with your classmates and meet people with similar interests.
10. Become a “Regular” at a Coffee Shop
Your favorite local restaurant might become a place where you find a companion for a coffee break or even lasting adult friendships. When you visit the same spot often, you might start to recognize the staff and other frequent customers. Small interactions like chatting with the barista about your favorite drink or bumping into the same people during brunch can lead to meaningful connections over time and making new friends.
11. Take Part in Local Politics or Civic Organizations
Another way to feel more like part of the local humane society is to join a political campaign or civic organization. Whether you run social media groups, help organize meetings or attend social events, it may lead to meeting like-minded people who share a passion for creating positive change. As a result, you may form strong adult friendships based on common interests.
Why Is It So Hard to Make Friends as an Adult?
According to research by a professor of psychology at Adelphi University [9], as many adults get older, they may have established social circles and prioritize spending time with old friends and people who know us well and, therefore, whittle our connections down.
Another reason is that starting new friendships can feel intimidating or awkward, especially if you’re not as used to meeting new people. When you’re in school or college, you’re surrounded by people all the time, making it easier and more attainable to form meaningful relationships.
As an adult, though, it may not be as common to be around social groups who are in the same situation in life as you, so you have to actively seek out opportunities to meet people and find close friends. At the same time, if you’re busy with work, family, and other responsibilities, it may be hard to find time for friendship.
FAQ: How to Make Friends As an Adult
Is it too late to make friends as an adult?
We asked Katherine Scott, M.Ed/Ed.S, LMFT, if it’s too late to make friends as an adult.
Just as we never outgrow our need for play, we never outgrow the capacity to form new connections! We as humans are social creatures by habit; it’s just about conquering the art of finding social routines that present novel opportunities to meet new people. Friendships give us a sense of community, something that comes in very handy when we hit bumps in the road. It’s our job to cultivate new opportunities for relationships, as we tend to outgrow learned ways of connecting as life moves forward.
What age is hardest to make friends?
In short, after the age of 25 it’s getting harder to make new friends. According to a study published, men and women tend to make more friends and social connections until they reach the age of 25. After that, they start losing friends more quickly, with women losing old friends faster than men at first. On average, a 25-year-old woman stays in touch with about 17.5 people per month, while a man contacts 19 people [10].
Is it normal to have zero friends?
Yes, it’s totally normal to go through times in adult life where you feel like you don’t have any friends. It can happen for a lot of reasons — maybe you’ve moved to a new city, your interests have changed, or life has gotten busy with work or romantic relationships. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.
Is it normal to lose friends as an adult?
“Absolutely, and it does not have to be a negative thing! As we grow, we evolve into different versions of ourselves. As we self-actualize, our friend group has a natural way of shifting, shedding, and evolving. It’s OK for a friendship to feel extremely close during one chapter of your life and then completely distant during the next. People evolve at different rates and down different paths, it’s as natural as the change of the seasons” – Katherine Scott, M.Ed/Ed.S, LMFT.
Sources
- American Psychological Association. The science of why friendships keep us healthy. June 2023.
- National Library of Medicine. The relative importance of friendship to happiness increases with age. July 2023.
- National Library of Medicine. Emotion Theory and Research: Highlights, Unanswered Questions, and Emerging Issues.
- ResearchGate. Sharing Extraordinary Experiences Fosters Feelings of Closeness. January 2018.
- StanfordReport. The strength of weak ties. July 2023.
- ResearchGate. Joint attention, shared goals, and social bonding. August 2015.
- The Guardian. ‘It’s all about stepping out of your comfort zone’: 10 tips for solo travellers. January 2023.
- NBC News. Why travelling alone is the best impulse decision I ever made.
- BBC. Why later life can be a golden age for friendship. December 2024.
- CNN Health. This is the age when you start losing friends. June 2016.
