Fifteen minutes into a coffee date, and we may start instinctively looking for red flags, noticing warning signs that something might be off. But what about green flags that signal positive qualities that can lead to a healthy relationship? Let’s explore green flags in relationships you should look for to create emotional safety and build healthy communication with a new partner.
If you wonder how to be a green flag yourself, take a self-discovery test to gain insights into your Emotional Intelligence and behavior patterns in relationships.
1. They Are Open and Honest
One of the major green flags in a romantic relationship is open communication. According to research on associations between communication and relationship satisfaction [1], it happens when both partners are on the same page and can resolve misunderstandings quickly.
They Share Their Needs and Concerns
For instance, if you’re late for a date or cancel plans at the last minute, they’ll express how that makes them feel. One of the green flags is when they can say, “I was hurt when you canceled with short notice,” instead of avoiding the conversation.
They Share Expectations
Do they share their intentions for the relationship from the beginning? The big green flag is when they don’t just make assumptions but are honest about how often to communicate, what they want from dates, or their thoughts on exclusivity. For example, they might say, “I’d like us to talk every day, but if you’re busy, that’s okay too.”
They Show Genuine Interest
A study on the effects of mutual gaze on feelings of romantic love found that eye contact can increase feelings of love [2]. A person who maintains eye contact is fully present and focused on you. Moreover, when you talk, they don’t just wait for their turn to speak. They ask follow-up self-reflection questions or summarize what you said to make sure they understand.
2. They Respect Your Boundaries
Another relationship green flag is when both partners feel safe and comfortable expressing their needs. According to a 2024 study on toxic relationships, one of the main relationship red flags is excessive control or possessiveness [3]. On the contrary, respect for boundaries shows that your partner values your individuality and autonomy.
Physical Boundaries
Are you not ready for physical affection, like holding hands or kissing? A positive sign is when a partner doesn’t push you and waits for clear signals from you.
Emotional Maturity in Communication
Typically, one of the green flags is when they respect your need for space when you’re tired or worried. Moreover, they don’t expect immediate replies to texts or calls, bombarding you with messages or guilt-tripping you for not responding quickly. Such behavior, Forbes defines as commonly missed relationship red flags [4].
Digital Boundaries
An important green flag is when your partner doesn’t insist on having access to your social media accounts or demand to see your phone. They trust you to keep your privacy.
Emotional Boundaries
They don’t pressure you to talk about past relationships, childhood experiences, or other emotional baggage until you feel comfortable.
Has your partner ever insisted on accessing your phone or social media accounts?
3. They Are Emotionally Available
Emotional availability helps partners be more committed, stable, and aware of each other’s feelings and build intimacy, according to recent review research about romantic relationships [5]. That’s why it can be among relationship green flags.
They Are Empathetic
If you’re upset or excited about something, your partner shows empathy instead of criticizing or ignoring your emotions. For example, if you’re worried about a work situation, they might say, “I can understand why you’re feeling that way. How can I help?”
They Can Be Vulnerable with You
They share their emotions, such as telling you about a tough moment or insecurities. Instead of hiding those feelings, they might say, “I’m feeling a bit worried about how things are going with us.”
They Apply Emotional Intelligence to Disagreements
They can express how they feel while making an effort to understand your perspective. If you wonder how to be emotionally available to your partner, take an Emotional Intelligence test to better understand yourself and the people around you.
4. They Are Trustworthy and Reliable
Can you count on your partner to keep their word? Do they show consistency in their actions? Researchers at Eastern Illinois University found that a relationship built on trust allows both partners to feel secure and valued [6].
Rychel Johnson, M.S., LCPC, explained why reliability is crucial in the early stages of a relationship.
As a therapist who helps individuals focus on building healthy and fulfilling relationships, I emphasize observing consistent behavior that matches what someone says they will do. This includes keeping commitments and being transparent about intentions and feelings. Reliability also extends to emotional support and communication—someone who listens actively and respects boundaries. These actions build trust, demonstrating a foundation of dependability and honesty, essential for a healthy and lasting relationship.
5. They Put Effort into the Relationship
Naturally, it’s one of the positive signs in a relationship when a partner doesn’t just make an effort on the first date to win you over but continues to show care and attention over time, according to research on relationship effort, satisfaction, and stability [7].
They Back Up Their Words with Actions
If they say they care about communication, they’ll text you, check in, and make time to talk instead of going quiet for days.
They Give You Compliments
Researchers at the University of Waterloo reported that when a romantic partner highlights things you do well or things they appreciate about you, it leads to improved self-esteem and more satisfying relationships overall [8]. Moreover, these positive affirmations may be one of the five love languages that work for you.
To make this even easier in daily life, the Breeze app offers daily affirmations personalized to your needs. These guided positive messages can help you learn how to love yourself even more and create a habit of focusing on your strengths even when a partner isn’t around to provide them.
They Remember Little Things You’ve Shared
For example, they remember your favorite food or hobby and made an effort to bring them up or surprise you with something thoughtful.
6. There’s Mutual Respect for Each Other
Expressing mutual respect without putting one person’s needs, desires, or opinions above the other is part of treating each other equally. This is one of the signs of a healthy relationship, according to research on respect in close relationships [9].
Equal Decision-Making
Whether it’s picking a movie, choosing where to eat, or planning a trip, they consider your preferences and include you in the decisions. For example, if they plan a date, they’ll ask for your input on what you enjoy, ensuring that both of you are equally involved.
Equal Emotional Investment
They show that they are emotionally invested in the relationship but never pressure you to feel or act a certain way. For example, if you’re not ready to say “I love you” yet, they don’t try to rush things. They allow you to understand how to feel your feelings.
Curious about your personality type and how it influences your relationships? Take the Personality Type Test to learn more about yourself and how you connect with others.
7. They Express Physical Affection without Expectations
If you wonder, “Am I ready for a relationship?” try to understand how you feel when your potential partner puts their arm around you when you greet them, sits close to you in a taxi, or instinctively squeezes your hands when you cross the street.
A study conducted by researchers at Binghamton University found a strong link between non-sexual intimate touch and strong marriages [10]. It might be one of the green flags in a relationship if they offer physical affection such as cuddling, holding hands, or light kisses without expectation and pressure.
They Show Affection in a Way that Feels Comfortable for You
For example, in the early stages, they might send a sweet text like “I’m thinking of you” or give small compliments rather than rushing into deep emotional talks.
They Respect Your Need for Personal Space
They don’t use physical affection to manipulate or control, but rather as an expression of care and affection.
Are you looking for more quizzes? In the Breeze app, you can find a variety of tests that cover all areas of life. Find out more about your personality traits and your behavior patterns in relationships, at work, in friendship, find out your attachment style and whether you have childhood trauma or ADHD.
8. They Have Strong and Supportive Social Relationships
A study on dating violence found that behaviors like controlling, monitoring, or isolating a partner from their social circle are key warning signs.[11]. At the same time, one of the green flags in a relationship is the ability to balance time between personal life and romantic life, creating space for both partners to maintain a fulfilling life outside of the relationship.
They Respect Your Social Independence
They support your hobbies, career, and friendships. They respect your need for personal space and free time and encourage you to grow to be the best version of yourself.
They Have a Well-Rounded Social Life
They have family with whom they maintain positive relationships, and they try to be better friends with their close friends.
They Respect Your Schedule
They don’t control your decisions, try to isolate you from other people, or pressure you into canceling plans or changing commitments for them. Thus, they show that they care about your long-term happiness, not just your relationship.
9. They Are Not Overly Defensive
Research by the University of Tennessee at Knoxville shows that most couples argue about the same topics, such as intimacy, leisure, money, household, and communication [12]. What makes happy couples different from unhappy ones is how they handle conflicts.
They Approach Conflict Calmly
When they disagree with you, they might say, “I see your point, but I feel differently about that,” rather than shutting down or getting angry.
They Are Able to Apologize and Make Amends
They take responsibility for their actions without deflecting blame. Their apology is genuine, not just to smooth things over but to demonstrate understanding and care.
They Make an Effort to Change Behavior
They listen when you express discomfort with certain behaviors and try to change them without argument or resentment. Thus, they are ready to show you that they value the relationship enough to improve.
10. You Have a Shared Sense of Humor
Can they still find moments to lighten the mood with humor when difficult situations arise? Can they bring joy to everyday moments? A partner who can make you laugh is one of the key relationship green flags.
You Laugh Together Over Small Things
Whether it’s an inside joke, a silly meme, or an awkward moment at work, you both may laugh about the little things that happen in everyday life.
They Make You Smile in Tough Situations
For instance, if you both miss a bus, instead of getting angry or upset, they might laugh about it, saying, “Guess we’re walking off our dinner!”
They Can Laugh at Themselves
Your partner is able to laugh at their own mistakes or awkward moments, which shows they don’t take themselves too seriously.
11. They Don’t Disrespect the Past of Both of You
According to a survey by The Guardian, one of the green flags in a relationship is when a potential partner doesn’t comment negatively about their past relationships or try to hold your past experiences against you [14]. They understand that your past has shaped you and approach it with curiosity, not judgment.
We asked Rychel Johnson, M.S., LCPC, why it is a green flag when a person speaks respectfully about their past and their partner’s past.
Speaking respectfully about one’s past relationships and partners demonstrates emotional maturity and a capacity for healthy relationships. It suggests that a person is self-aware and has processed their experiences without harboring excessive resentment or blame. Respectful language about ex-partners or past mistakes also reflects an ability to avoid projecting unresolved issues onto the current relationship. These green flags can foster open communication, reinforcing trust and mutual respect between partners.
Sources
1. Johnson MD, Lavner JA, Mund M, Zemp M, Stanley SM, Neyer FJ, Impett EA, Rhoades GK, Bodenmann G, Weidmann R, Bühler JL, Burriss RP, Wünsche J, Grob A. Within-Couple Associations Between Communication and Relationship Satisfaction Over Time. April 2022.
2. Joan Kellerman, James Lewis, James D. Laird. Looking and loving: The effects of mutual gaze on feelings of romantic love.
3. Tissa Zhafira. Recognizing red flags in relationships: the first step to avoiding toxic relationships. July 2024.
4. Mark Travers. A Psychologist Reveals 2 Commonly Missed Relationship Red Flags. February 2024.
5. Pretty Bhalla, Inass Ali. Impact of Emotional Intelligence on Quality of Romantic Relationships: Review Research. April 2019.
6. Cara Cosentino. Trust in Relationships: A Study to Determine the Importance of Trust. 2012.
7. Kevin Shafer, Todd M. Jensen, Jeffry H. Larson. Relationship Effort, Satisfaction, and Stability: Differences Across Union Type. April 2014.
8. Denise C. Marigold, John G Holmes, Michael Ross. More Than Words: Reframing Compliments From Romantic Partners Fosters Security in Low Self-Esteem Individuals. February 2007.
9. Jennifer R. Frei, Phillip R Shaver. Respect in Close Relationships: Prototype Definition, Self-Report Assessment, and Initial Correlates. June 2002.
10. Jennifer Micale. Hugs and kisses: Research connects affection, attachment style and marriage satisfaction. February 9, 2025.
11. Kearney MS, O’Brien KM. Is It Love or Is It Control? Assessing Warning Signs of Dating Violence. June 2021.
12. University of Tennessee at Knoxville. How happy couples argue: Focus on solvable issues first. September 16, 2019.
13. Barbara Fraley, Arthur Aron. The effect of shared humorous experience on closeness in initial encounters. March 2004.
14. Justin Myers. 62 dating green flags that shout ‘this one’s a keeper’. January 2023.
Disclaimer
This article is for general informative and self-discovery purposes only. It should not replace expert guidance from professionals.
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