Think You Are Manipulative? Take “Am I Manipulative?” Quiz

We all manipulate sometimes in our lives. Why? Because it’s how we get what we want, and it’s not necessarily malicious. This can range from dressing well to create a positive first impression to putting someone down to lower their self-esteem.

But what if you’re the one asking yourself, “Am I manipulative?” It might be time to check in with the “Am I manipulative?” quiz.

Take the “Am I manipulative?” free quiz

Okay, let’s examine the basics of passing the “Am I manipulative?” quiz.

Here is what you need to do:

• Find a calm place where you can be alone with your thoughts and free from distractions. 

• Try to relax your body and mind, as it’s essential to understand the specifics of each question of the “Am I manipulative?” test.

• Use pen and paper to record the answers. Answer each question honestly. Be truthful about your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. There’s no right or wrong answer, as the goal is self-reflection.

• Don’t overanalyze or overthink. Just trust your initial gut feeling when answering the “Am I a manipulative person?” quiz.

• Gather points for every question answered, see your final score, and check the results.

Let’s begin!

1. You want to borrow your friend’s car. How do you approach them?

• Directly ask if you can borrow their car (1 point)
• Hint that you need a ride and see if they offer their car (2 points)
• Mention how much you love their car and how convenient it would be to have one (3 points)

2. When arguing with someone, you:

• Specifically address the reason at hand (1 point)
• Bring up past mistakes or shortcomings of the other person (3 points)
• Play the victim to try to gain sympathy (2 points)

3. You want a promotion at work. How do you approach your boss?

• Clearly outline your accomplishments and reasons for deserving a promotion (1 point)
• Emphasize the difficulties you’ve faced and how hard you’ve worked (2 points)
• Mention how underpaid you feel and how much more you could do with a promotion (3 points)

4. Your friend needs help. How do you respond?

• Offer support and advice (1 point)
• Talk about a challenges you faced to show how you relate (2 points)
• Focus on how their life situation is affecting you (3 points)

5. When someone compliments you, you:

• Thank them, and appreciate the compliment (1 point)
• Downplay the compliment or change the subject (2 points)
• Criticize yourself, hoping they will praise you again (3 points)

6. You’re trying to convince someone to do something. You:

• Present the facts and explain the benefits. (1 point)
• Appeal to their emotions or sense of guilt. (3 points)
• Use flattery or charm to persuade them. (2 points)

7. When faced with critical comments, you:

• Listen to the feedback and consider making changes. (1 point)
• Become defensive. (3 points)
• Use it as an opportunity to shift the focus to someone else’s mistakes. (2 points)

8. You often find yourself:

• Putting the needs of others before your own. (2 points)
• Taking advantage of others to get what you want. (3 points)
• Balancing your own needs with the needs of others. (1 point)

9. How would you describe your overall approach to relationships?

• Honest, open, and respectful. (1 point)
• Focused on getting what you want. (3 points)
• Charming, persuasive, and people-oriented. (2 points)

Results of “Am I manipulative?” quiz

Alright, let’s break down your score and see how manipulative you might be. 

• 9-17 points: There is a low possibility that you are manipulative. You generally have healthy communication and interpersonal skills. You likely value open and honest communication and respect the feelings of others.

• 18-23 points: In this case, you are likely to be manipulative, but it’s not a dominant part of your personality.

We asked Nicole Arzt, LMFT, if it’s okay to be a bit manipulative in life some time. “Sometimes, manipulation can benefit other people. For example, someone might be feeling really upset because they didn’t think they did a good job at a work presentation. If they ask you how it went, you might avoid being completely honest and instead say, “It wasn’t as bad as you think it was.” However, in general, it’s almost always better to be assertive and honest than lie,” she says.

Pay attention to your thoughts and behaviors to identify when you might be manipulative.

Try to be more aware of how your actions make others feel, and work on building genuine connections.

• 24-27 points: You are most likely to be manipulative in any relationship. It might be helpful to think about why you do it. Is it to get your way? To avoid conflict? Something else? 

You may ask, “What do I do if I find myself manipulative?” This is what Nicole Arzt, LMFT, says:

The first step is cultivating self-awareness. Note the times and situations where you start behaving this way. Then, get in the habit of pausing. Before defaulting to a manipulation tactic, ask yourself, What else can I do to ensure my needs get met?

Please note: This questionnaire is for informational purposes only. 

If I’m not sure whether I’m manipulative or not, can I take this quiz?

Absolutely. The purpose of the test is to provide information and self-reflection. It’s designed to help you understand potential manipulative behaviors in yourself. 

Even if you’re unsure about your own behavior, taking the “Am I a manipulative person?” test might offer insights and starting points for self-awareness.

What is manipulation?

Manipulation is the act of deliberately influencing or controlling someone or something to your advantage, often without their knowledge or consent.

It’s a form of social influence that involves using subtle or underhanded tactics to achieve personal goals.