Essential Relationship Goals for a Stronger, Closer Connection

Relationship goals are a perfect way to build a healthy relationship, improve emotional intimacy with your partner, and strengthen your bond. While these small steps may sound too simple, there’s a power of simple actions that will make a big difference years later. Find out what relationship goals are, how to set them correctly, and save 10+ goals that can make every couple’s life more meaningful.

What Are Relationship Goals and Why Set Them?

Relationship goals refer to specific objectives and milestones that partners agree to work on and achieve together. It can be something simple like going on a date every Saturday or something complex like buying a house or moving to another country. While the goals themselves can vary, their main essence is to strengthen relationships, ensure better understanding of lovers and build a foundation for a couple’s growth.

According to the study in the International Journal of Applied Positive Psychology, if partners share common goals, support each other on the way to reaching them, and get real results, this tends to lead to higher relationship satisfaction. [1] 

There are also other benefits of setting your own relationship goals. Let’s explore them briefly:

1. You stay on the same page

Understanding what a partner feels, wants, and aims to achieve might be key to building a long-lasting connection. Relationship goals can help you manage expectations and reduce misunderstanding. For instance, if one person wants to build a career while another is interested in starting a family and having  kids, setting long-term goals may help you identify how it can work all together.

2. You have a common sense of purpose

When both partners share common objectives and strive to move in the same direction, it encourages deep connection and trust.

3. You learn working together to reach them as a couple

At first, teamwork might seem easy and playful. However, over the course of a long-term relationship, there might be lots of situations when you’ll need to work together and share responsibilities.

Reaching common goals is a great way to learn how to collaborate in a romantic relationship. As such, it can be much easier to raise kids or renovate a new apartment together when you have already developed a sense of shared responsibility.

4. You get emotionally closer to your partner

Relationship goals are often focused on improving emotional intimacy and cultivating mutual respect. When you discover your partner’s love language, have a shared vision, and understand their triggers, you can build a deeper connection and navigate misunderstandings much better.

At the same time, studies prove that commitment and effective communication are some of the most important aspects of building a strong and successful relationship. [2] 

5. You notice progress within your relationship

Research proves that gratitude from one’s partner may be a powerful tool for couples that increases relationship satisfaction and commitment. [3] Moreover, reaching shared goals is a perfect way to see tangible progress in your relationship and say “thank you” to each other one more time.

6. You reach personal growth as well

Last but not least. Shared goals not only allow to maintain the relationship healthy, they are a great way for each partner to develop. Pretty much like individual goals, common ones challenge you to step out of your comfort zone and try new things with your significant one’s support.

Types of Relationship Goals

While there’s no set classification for relationship goals, we can divide them into types in two different groups. The first one is based on the timeframe, while the second considers different stages of a relationship. Below we’ll highlight both options.

1. Based on the timeframe

There’s a difference between starting a new hobby with your partner and traveling the world together. Different goals have different levels of complexity and commitments. So, no matter how long you’re together, it makes sense to divide goals into long-term and short-term.

Short-term goals

These are the ones that you can complete in the near future. They typically require less time and effort and can bring immediate results. Some examples of short-term goals include:

• Having a weekly date night
• Attending a cooking class once a month
• Setting aside 15 minutes a day for quality conversation
• Planning a weekend trip
• Saving a small amount each month for common wishes
• Exercising together a few nights per week
• Complimenting each other every day

Long-term goals

On the other hand, long-term goals require much more time and effort. They can take months or even years to turn into life and might make a significant change in the couple’s life. These might be:

• Buying a home together
• Having a child
• Developing a financial plan for retirement
• Opening a business 
• Creating a long-term health plan as a couple
• Moving to another city or a country together

2. Based on the stage of the relationship

Relationships tend to develop and grow and those goals that were important early on may evolve as the relationship deepens. As such, here are the most typical differences in goals for couples on the different stages.

Goals for dating couples

Those only building emotional and physical intimacy might need to get to know each other better and get closer. Thus, goals may include discovering each other’s love language, visiting events that bring you closer (like concerts or workshops), and having open conversations about personal values regularly.

Goals for couples that begin to live together

While each period can bring its unique challenges, moving together tends to be a turbulent period for many couples. When you set goals, it makes sense to think about routine moments. For instance, plan routine moments together, create a budget together and establish boundaries for personal space, alone time, and time with best friends.

Goals for long-term commitment and married couples

If you’ve been living together for a long time or married, your goals might shift towards a deeper emotional connection and building a future together. Sometimes, it can also be necessary to make a difference in daily life and find the lost spark. Thus, goals might include planning regular date nights, taking trips together, or exploring new hobbies as a couple.

Goals for couples with kids

Having children is a significant step that influences everyday life and might bring noticeable changes to routine. Over this period, spouses shouldn’t forget about each other and set a specific time to spend as a couple, not only as parents. Some of the most important relationship goals in this period may include scheduling regular date nights, fairly dividing parenting tasks, and ensuring open communication about all stressful moments.

How to Determine Your Relationship Goals?

To reach a perfect relationship and set goals that feel inspiring to everyone, it’s essential to determine them together. Here are a few steps you might need to take to understand what really matters to both you and your partner.

1. Analyze your personal needs and values. First and foremost, to set healthy relationship goals, you need to understand what’s important to you personally. Take uninterrupted time and think about your requirements to have something to bring to the table over the open talk. Ask yourself, “How do I want to feel in my ideal relationship?” to consider your desires.

2. Discuss your expectations. Once you start communicating more openly and honestly, it’s vital to stay on the same page with your partner. Thus, tell what you expect from the relationship in the next few months, in the next few years, and over a longer period.

3. Identify the areas that can keep your spark alive. You don’t have to share everything in common to enjoy each other’s company. For example, your partner might not be interested in starting a business, while you might not want to hit the gym together. As such, it’s better to find life spheres that motivate both of you and set personal goals for other areas.

4. Ensure that your partner feels motivated to reach every goal. Once you’ve understood the areas, it’s vital to focus on specific goals. Take the extra step to check what they feel about all suggestions and whether they see any potential roadblocks that can lead to frustration.

5. Understand your priorities. If you have outlined numerous short-term goals, it can be helpful to prioritize them. For example, you can focus on your sex life, improve emotional intimacy, and then think about how to make your life more romantic.

How to Set Relationship Goals Effectively?

According to the International Journal of Mental Health Promotion, applying SMART goals leads to greater goal attainment, need satisfaction, and positive affect. [4] So, if you want to set real relationship goals that will make a difference, this frame can be rather helpful. Here’s how it works.

Specific

Setting a specific goal means that you know what the final result should be, what steps to take to reach it, and who will be responsible for every aspect. For instance, your goal is to plan a honeymoon to an exotic country. To make it specific, you should:

• Decide on the destination and travel dates.
• Research and set a budget for everything.
• Assign responsibilities (e.g., one partner books flights, the other handles accommodation).
• Create a checklist of necessary documents (passports, visas, vaccinations).
• Set a deadline for completing each step.

Measurable

This means the way you are going to understand that you’ve achieved something. If talking about goals like “move an apartment” or “save $5,000 for a holiday together,” it’s pretty simple, other milestones might be more difficult to measure. However, you should still aim to concretize them. As such:

• Set how often you’re going to do something (e.g., sincere talks once a week)
• Mark completed steps
• Check-in regularly with each other
• Use a rating scale (e.g., on a scale from 1 to 10, how close you are to reaching the goal)

Achievable

In a healthy relationship, goals should be realistic and based on your needs and resources.  Of course, long-term ones can take years, but they still should feel as reachable and not lead to constant frustration. 

For example, if you have no money and you aim to buy a new car in a month, this seems like something impossible. Similarly, if you’re focused on your career and have regular overtime, spending every evening together may be challenging. Talk to your loved one, identify the priority, and look for an approach that works for both of you. 

Relevant

We’ve already mentioned it in the previous section, but the SMART framework also implies that things work well in both your and your partner’s life. You need to ensure that every goal aligns not only with your values but also with your vision for the future and current life situation. Ask yourself and your significant other, “Is it really important for me now?” If yes, keep going!

Time-Bound

Deadlines make tasks feel more important, and relationship goals are no exception. Of course, it can be difficult to set a deadline for having a baby or building deeper emotional intimacy. Still, having a timeframe helps maintain focus and motivation. Instead of vague goals, try setting realistic deadlines, like planning a romantic getaway within six months or having weekly evenings out for the next three months.

10+ Relationship Goals for a Strong and Healthy Relationship

While every couple can have their unique short-term and long-term relationship goals, there might be something in common. Building emotional intimacy and creating a safe space to share your emotions is vital for everyone. Thus, in this section, we’ll focus on universal goals that can strengthen your bond and will be applicable to most couples.

1. Explore five love languages and discuss yours

Imagine that your partner loves tea, but you bring them coffee every morning. Of course, they might drink them for the first few times to make you happy but later on they may get irritated. This is not what they need.

The five love languages theory works pretty similarly. It implies that to have a good relationship, you need to give your partner what they prefer, not what you consider to be better. The love languages include:

• Words of affirmation
• Quality time
• Physical touch
• Acts of service
• Receiving gifts

Every person may need to experience all the love languages, but one is more prominent. Take Breeze’s test to discover your main language and discuss it with your partner to figure out how you both prefer to give and receive love.

2. Find a common hobby

Journal of Social and Personal Relationships proves that shared leisure activities with one’s romantic partner are beneficial for both partners and their romantic relationship. [5] It can be anything that you both like, and that can make you support each other and feel like real friends. Save these possible ideas that might be good for your couple:

• Cooking or baking together
• Dancing
• Hiking or outdoor adventures
• Board games or puzzles
• Learning a new language
• Volunteering
• Fitness or yoga

3. Learn to face conflicts together

When things go wrong, it may be easy to get trapped in miscommunications and finally break up. Instead, it’s vital to establish an approach that says, “We are against the problem,” not “We are against each other.” When you start approaching conflict as something that brings discomfort to both of you and needs to be discussed and fixed, it can make your love life much better. 

4. Establish trust and learn to be vulnerable

Staying open to each other is the essential and normal part of a strong relationship. In fact, as Logan Ury, the Director of Relationship Science at Hinge states, the number one thing people are looking for on a first date is emotional vulnerability. [6] In long-term relationships this need will continue and evolve pretty much like the relationships themselves. 

As such, it’s a great idea to make open conversations, constant support, and self-compassion a normal part of your life. There’s no universal roadmap that will work for every couple. Instead, you can plan small, achievable steps to get closer.

5. Focus on keeping things exciting

When staying together for quite a long, you acquire intimacy and mutual respect, but routine life can become a bit boring. To keep this spark alive and feel in love with your partner over years and decades, you may need to keep a sense of adventure and curiosity.

• Try new activities together
• Plan spontaneous date nights
• Explore new places as a couple 

When you set relationship goals, think about something out of the box. These still need to be activities that seem exciting for both of you, but let them be a bit unpredictable or even slightly challenging.

6. Surprise each other with small gestures of love

This is one more way to keep living together not only as friends or roommates but as lovers. Gestures of love shouldn’t necessarily be expensive or take a lot of effort, and this can also be a simple way to say, “Hey, I still love you.” For instance:

• Leave a sweet note in their bag
• Prepare their favorite meal unexpectedly
• Pick up a small gift that reminds you of them
• Make them a playlist of songs that mean something to your relationship
• Bring them coffee in bed just because
• Plan a surprise date or activity they love

Fun fact: experiential gifts give greater improvements in relationship strength than material gifts. [7] So, if you’re choosing between her favorite chocolate or a romantic walk in the evening, opt for both!

7. Work on your sex life

Among other relationship goals, you can also choose areas you want to improve. If you’re interested in having more physical intimacy, trying new experiences, or focusing more on what your partner feels, it may be good to openly discuss your desires, boundaries, and expectations. Just talk about everything without judgment and ensure that both of you feel comfortable and safe.

8. Create traditions that are meaningful to both of you

Whether you only started dating or have been together for so long and feel like family members, common traditions matter. The study from California State University states that 23% of couples prefer shared activities as a way to strengthen their bond. [8]  Traditions create a sense of stability, belonging, and shared identity in a relationship. These can be:

• Cooking a special meal together every weekend
• Having an annual trip to a favorite destination
• Watching the first snowfall of the year with hot chocolate
• Visiting a favorite café on anniversaries
• Having a monthly movie marathon

9. Support each other’s personal growth

You love each other and want to develop together. Still, both you and your partner are a separate person who has their goals, desires, and vision of the world around them and their future. 

When setting relationship goals, you might need to highlight the importance of supporting each other’s ambitions and growth. Communicate with your partner whether you need some help from them, verbal support or just staying together when you’re worried or excited. You can also plan regular check-ins to discuss how things go in your projects and encourage each other.

10. Try couples therapy

According to the research, almost 50% of couples have gone to counseling at some point in their relationship, and most of those who no longer attend stopped because they got what they needed (the therapy worked). [9] You shouldn’t necessarily start couples therapy only when serious problems arise. This can help you handle challenging milestones, learn more about each other, and create a safe space where you can openly express your thoughts and emotions.

How to Stay on Track and Achieve Your Goals? 5 Tips

The Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology states that goal setting is an effective behavior change technique. [10] This means that if you want to strengthen your relationship, setting and achieving shared goals can help to streamline your interactions in everyday life. 

Yet, if you don’t actively work toward those goals, they may remain just good intentions. For that, we’ve collected a few tips on how to stay motivated. 

1. Turn big goals into smaller steps. If you feel frustrated about achieving a  specific goal, it may be helpful to think whether it isn’t too big and overwhelming. Create a plan on what you can do in the nearest future and concentrate on achievable milestones daily.

2. Celebrate your wins. The best part of relationship goals is that you always have someone by your side to celebrate with. Choose any strategy that can keep you both motivated. If you don’t achieve a ‘win,’ your partner is a safe person to explore losses or mistakes with.
   
3. Be flexible and adjust when needed. Let’s say you’ve decided to go to the dancing club together every Tuesday evening. Yet, this week, your partner has a really tight deadline, and they need to work in the evening. Should it be a problem? Not really. Relationship goals should always adapt to reality changes and priorities.
   
4. Communicate openly and honestly. If you feel uncomfortable about any goal, you can always talk about it and change everything. Only your two feelings really matter. So, don’t hesitate to look for solutions together.
   
5. Encourage and motivate each other. We all need permission to acknowledge progress. Positive feedback helps you stay connected and reminds you both that you’re working towards your goals together.

Common Challenges and How to Overcome Them

If you want to build healthy relationships, avoid conflicts, and grow together, there are also some things you need to take into account. Check out the most common challenges couples face on the way to their goals. 

• Ineffective communication. Even if your partner means the world to you, a lack of clear communication can lead to misunderstandings. It’s better to review your goals over time, check in on how your priorities changed, and discuss your feelings. 

• Lack of work-life balance. You might be pressed for time to set goals and reach them if you’re too busy at work, taking care of kids, or doing other routine stuff. Thus, real relationship goals should always adapt to your couple’s routine.

• Neglecting individual needs. Growing together is great, but don’t forget about yourself. It’s healthy and nurturing to have some time for self-reflection, personal development, and improvement.
  
• Ignoring setbacks. Every couple might face specific challenges in their journey. It’s vital to analyze them and adapt relationship goals accordingly. For example, if you set a goal to exercise together, but one of you gets sick, try lighter activities or reschedule instead of giving up on the goal.

Conclusion

Relationship goals are a perfect way to grow together as a couple and bring a deep emotional connection to your life. To build a consistent routine and reach them much faster, you can try using the Breeze app. Add a goal in the app, decide on frequency, set up reminders, and track your progress together. This will help you stay motivated and ensure you both move towards a better future.

Sources

1. International Journal of Applied Positive Psychology. “Flourishing Together: The Longitudinal Effect of Goal Coordination on Goal Progress and Life Satisfaction in Romantic Relationships”
2. National Library of Medicine. “Protective factors of marital stability in long-term marriage globally: a systematic review”
3. University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign. “Study shows the power of ‘thank you’ for couples”
4. International Journal of Mental Health Promotion. “Applying SMART Goal Intervention Leads to Greater Goal Attainment, Need Satisfaction and Positive Affect”
5. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. “The role of social context in the association between leisure activities and romantic relationship quality”
6. Logan Ury’s Instagram post. 15.03.2025
7. Journal of Consumer Research. “Experiential Gifts Foster Stronger Social Relationships Than Material Gifts”
8. California State University. “Rituals in unmarried couple relationships: An exploratory study”
9. Verywell Mind. “The Positive Impact of Couples Therapy Is Nearly Universal, Verywell Mind Survey Finds”
10. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. “Unique Effects of Setting Goals on Behavior Change: Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis”