As a former therapist and mental health expert, I often hear people ask about the different types of narcissism. Here’s an overview.
Have you ever been tangled up with a narcissist? We throw the word around a lot these days. However, narcissism is a personality trait with several subsets. This can add to the feelings of whiplash we get when we’re being “worked on” by a narcissist. Let’s dive into types of narcissism.
How many types of narcissists are there?
The DSM-5-TR doesn’t specify different types of narcissism. However, the general consensus in the mental health community is that there are around eight narcissistic personality disorder types.
How many types of narcissists are there in total? An individual therapist may operate on the idea that there are 4 types of narcissism, 5 types of narcissism, or even 10 types of narcissists.
Like many things, narcissist types exist on a spectrum. Your personal experience can vary widely based on the types of narcissist traits you encounter.
Here’s a look at different forms of narcissism that are widely recognized:
- Covert or vulnerable
- Grandiose or overt
- Communal
- Neglectful
- Benign
- Entitled
- Malignant
- Antagonistic
What are the 5 main types of narcissism? Covert, overt, malignant, antagonist, and begin are considered the core narcissistic personality disorder types by most mental health experts.
There are two reasons why you’re interested in narcissistic personality disorder types. The first is that you’ve encountered one. This could be a family member, colleague, or lover.
Why do I attract narcissists? Answers can include empathy, people-pleasing behaviors, attachment style, and low self-esteem.
The second is that you’re worried you are one. How do I stop being a narcissist? It’s a process that takes introspection.
My thoughts as a therapist? All different types of narcissism are often rooted in pain. Let’s look a little closer.
8 types of narcissism
Whether you’re exploring relationship dynamics, analyzing signs of a female narcissist, or holding a mirror up to yourself, let’s look at narcissist types.
1. Vulnerable or covert narcissist
The covert narcissist is a hard one to pin down. They lack the obvious grandiosity of other types we’ll discuss.
Their introversion conceals self-centeredness and manipulation. We sometimes call this the vulnerable narcissist or closet narcissist. They may even lure you in by making you feel sorry for them!
Typically, covert narcissists can play the victim. In doing so, they may have intentions to manipulate your good intentions.
Unfortunately, tears and sadness are often mixed with rage and blame. One common trait is a fragile ego. Criticism and rejection are big triggers.
Over time, you may also notice a shocking lack of empathy. While they use self-deprecating humor, they actually have a grandiose sense of self. There’s also a strange conflict between a lack of empathy and altruism for appearances.
Take a covert narcissist test to check your traits.
2. Grandiose or overt narcissist
This is the “classic case” of narcissistic personality disorder types.
As a former therapist, I call it big personality, big ideas, and big problems.
The overt narcissist often lives life at a higher volume than others. You can easily be drawn into their intensity.
Overt or grandiose narcissists generally all share an exaggerated sense of self-importance combined with a lack of empathy. However, their surface-level charm makes that hard to know.
Common traits those in their inner circle will notice include:
- Highly extroverted
- Boastful and braggadocious
- Entitled
- Overbearing
- Quick to take advantage
- Obsessed with getting attention and admiration
- Aggressive when they don’t get what they want
When you are useful to them, they’re ready to move heaven and earth for you. When you’re not, you’re dropped like a hot potato. This is why therapy is highly recommended if you’ve been caught in a narcissist’s snare.
3.Communal narcissist
Communal narcissists use their social credibility to get what they want. Their charming, outgoing personality gets you to trust them. They are also loved by friends, family, and the community.
What could go wrong?
Unfortunately, this is one of the most dangerous relationships to be in. Many people who are physically or emotionally abused by communal narcissists stay silent.
After all, they are often pillars of the community. They project trustworthiness and honesty.
Intimate partners of communal narcissists see what happens when the mask drops. These types of narcissists feel entitled to constant praise.
Criticism is met with hostility and aggression. They will also manipulate using antagonism or guilt. They will often coerce to get what they want.
4.Malignant narcissist
Another type of narcissist is the malignant narcissist, who can exhibit dark behaviors. Getting entangled by one can be physically and emotionally dangerous.
Personality traits can include sadism and antisocial behaviors. Here’s a glance at what’s often apparent with malignant narcissists:
- Lack of empathy
- Using others
- Disregard for others
- Attention-seeking behaviors
- Entitlement
- Lack of remorse
- Lying
- Willingness to break the law
- Low impulse control
Malignant narcissists often harm and use others to feed their sense of grandiosity. This can devolve into violence.
What creates malignant narcissists? Many believe that adverse childhood experiences and trauma could foster these traits.
Family history is also a potential factor. For example, children of narcissistic parents may be at higher risk.
There’s also emerging evidence that people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) have differences in brain structure.
5.Antagonistic narcissist
This is an interesting one that many don’t see coming. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who constantly picked fights?
Antagonistic types of narcissism are also highly competitive. Relationships are built on competition and predation. There’s always a “winner” and “loser.”
One answer for how to deal with a narcissist like this is to not take the bait.
It’s believed that antagonistic narcissists suffer from disrupted attachment styles. A securely attached person will seek mutually supportive relationships.
Meanwhile, antagonistic narcissists see relationships like this:
- Predation: Yes, they see themselves as predators. They see every relationship and interaction as a struggle for dominance. That leaves them entitled to abuse, oppress, intimidate, and violate others.
- Competition: It doesn’t matter if you’re their lover, mother, sibling, or best friend. You are the competition. They will always be competing against you for resources, praise, affection, and respect.
- Parasitism: Antagonistic narcissists are masters at using their victims. They will use whatever social credit or resources you have. This can be as benign as moving into your house while you pay the bills. It can be as dark as coercing you into unwanted sexual relationships.
Hidden abuse is a big problem with this type of narcissism. It’s what we mean when we talk about “gaslighting.”
They will use guilt, fawning, praise, and isolation to manipulate. Next to them, you can always ask yourself, “Why do I feel guilty for small things?” Their goal is to get you to break every boundary.
“Punishment” in this dynamic can look like silent treatment, insults, or threatening to leave. However, it’s not always passive-aggressive. Some will hit, physically threaten, or tarnish the name of their victim.
6. Neglectful narcissist
You only exist to a neglectful type of narcissist when they need something. When you have something they need or want, they will pepper you with praise. They often “come and go” from your life.
However, they come around suddenly when they are getting remarried. They are trying to show their new spouse that they are loving and caring toward their kids.
For the child, the sudden attention from a parent they longed for feels good. However, it’s performative. The parent may soon disappear once the new relationship or marriage falls apart.
A parent might also swoop back in when the child they’ve abandoned has grown up to have a career. The child now has something of value to offer them. Neglectful narcissism also plays out in romantic relationships.
In my experience, many women who struggled with boomerang relationships were actually dealing with neglectful relationships. They fell hard for “distant” men. Months would go by with no contact. However, a late-night text for a hookup would restart the whole thing.
7. Benign narcissist
No, this isn’t an oxymoron. Some types of narcissists really don’t want to harm anyone. They aren’t being malicious. However, their immaturity and self-absorption can still hurt people.
A benign narcissist can seem like a “dreamer” at first. They exhibit some entitlement and grandiosity. They may also struggle to look beyond their own wants. You might describe them as being “selfish.”
They may also manipulate to get what they want. I’m not sure all benign narcissists even know they’re doing this! They are simply operating on a formula.
For example, a benign narcissist may count on their parents to rescue them when they fail to pay their bills.
Benign narcissists are often addicted to validation. Think of people you know who spend all day chasing “likes” on Facebook. Do they even exist if people aren’t commenting about them online?
Here’s where it gets confusing. Many are actually quite extroverted and easy to talk to! They truly don’t want to hurt you.
In fact, they aren’t even thinking of you. They are too busy thinking about themselves. The only time the barbs really come out is when they feel attacked.
A common theme with benign narcissists is hypersensitivity. Their addiction to validation can cause them to turn on you when they feel “dissed.”
Overall, the biggest frustration with being in a relationship with a benign narcissist is disappointment. Unlike other types of narcissists, they don’t use grand gestures to lure you in. They’re likely to forget your birthday. The good news is that they are unlikely to cause damage.
8. Entitled narcissist
This person skips lines, contradicts themself at every turn, and feels that the rules don’t apply to them. The truth is that entitled narcissists can sometimes be folded into overt or malignant categories.
However, I want to give this category some attention because many of my clients have struggled with it.
Entitled types of narcissism believe that they deserve special treatment “just because.” They don’t care if it’s at the expense of others. They also don’t respect boundaries when told “no.”
One of the common themes I’ve seen in people affected by entitled narcissists is self-righteousness.
People will use their own morality or “goodness” to justify doing whatever they want. They will also judge others more harshly than themselves.
Narcissism vs. narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)
As a mental health expert, I’ll be honest about something that bothers me. I feel like people are too comfortable throwing around the armchair diagnosis of “narcissism.” I’m thrilled more people are learning about red flags.
However, someone acting selfishly or uncaringly doesn’t make them a narcissist. Many of the things we call narcissism are just immaturity or bad manners.
Let’s clear up the difference between narcissism and an actual personality disorder.
Are there different levels of narcissism? Yes! Narcissism simply refers to having narcissistic traits. It doesn’t involve a clinical diagnosis. It also doesn’t mean a person is dangerous.
The truth is that we all have some strands of narcissism in our personalities. Fortunately, we can work on them to grow in our mental health and personal relationships.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a diagnosable mental health condition. It’s a serious term to throw around because it can negatively impact a person’s relationships, career, and mental health.
There’s also an increased risk of suicide among people with NPD. This is a serious mental health and mood disorder that often requires intervention.
Adaptive narcissism vs. maladaptive narcissism
Here’s another twist. Narcissists are generally split between people who can get on with life vs. those who can’t.
We call this adaptive narcissism vs. maladaptive narcissism.
A person with adaptive narcissism generally has self-sufficiency, confidence, and other healthy traits that make them able to function in the world.
We can call these people high-functioning narcissists. Their narcissist traits can be useful and helpful when channeled properly.
Many are great when it comes to setting goals at work, being committed in relationships, and having a balanced sense of entitlement. Many confident people you know from real life or the media are probably adaptive narcissists.
Maladaptive narcissism is associated with all of the negative traits of narcissism. This includes entitlement, aggression, lack of empathy, and willingness to use and exploit.
They are also more likely to deal with poor mental health, depression, and anxiety. They can still be charming enough to lure you in.
In my experience, one of the big dividing lines is self-esteem. Adaptive narcissists generally have positive self-esteem. They don’t need to force others to praise them because they generally feel good.
Meanwhile, maladaptive narcissists are driven by low self-esteem. Their fragile egos spur their dark and manipulative behaviors.
The takeaway is that we can’t just throw labels around. We also can’t put our heads in the sand. Some behaviors truly are red flags. Many narcissists have deep-seated trauma.
Painting them with a broad “villain” brush is too simple.
However, it’s nobody’s job to save a narcissist. Do you have questions about narcissistic traits? Learn more about narcissism on Breeze.
