What Is Wrong With Me? 10 Possible Causes and Ways to Heal

“Something is inherently wrong with me”, “my work and relationship are not going right because I’m not good enough”, “I want to change my life, but I can’t…”. If such thoughts haunt you regularly, it’s time to understand the root of the problem that may lie in your desires and expectations, behavior patterns, internalized beliefs from childhood, and more. Let’s find out the true reason and explore the strategies to help you feel better.

Start by taking a Childhood Trauma Test. It’s a simple but powerful way to gain insight into how your past may shape your present.

Why You Might Feel Like Something Is “Wrong” With You

There are a few explanations in clinical psychology why you might feel like something is wrong with you:

1. You’re Comparing Yourself to Others

Often, the feeling of “something is wrong with me” appears when a person compares themselves with someone else. Social media makes it dangerously easy to feel like everyone else has it together. When your life feels messy in comparison, you might be feeling like a failure [3]. Remember, in social media, you’re not seeing people’s struggles but only the best they show you.

2. You’ve Internalized Negative Thoughts

When something doesn’t go as we expected, you may often ask yourself: “What did I do wrong? Why did this happen to me? What’s wrong with me?”

At first glance, you want to understand the reasons and find a solution. However, there is a but. By constantly asking yourself the question, “What’s wrong with me?” you feed the negativity. You create a pattern that only strengthens your doubts, fears, and negative feelings. Consequently, you may begin to believe that something is really wrong with you [4].

Moreover, if you grew up hearing that you weren’t good enough or were constantly criticized, it’s easy to carry those messages into adulthood. Over time, they become internalized beliefs. Even if your circumstances change, that little voice in your head might still whisper that you’re the problem.

Similarly, if your parents compared you with someone else as a child, it can also cause psychological trauma and complexes as they age. For example, if our parents often used your brother or sister, or your classmates as an example for comparison, you may feel like a black sheep of the family and believe that something is wrong with you, even in adulthood. Thus, parents’ lack of love and praise can make you try to prove to them that you are no worse [6].

3. You Experience Influence of Parental Expectations

Psychotherapists Pauline Clance and Susan Imes found similar upbringing characteristics in women with impostor syndrome that can also be the reason for feeling that something is wrong with them [5]. Usually, these women were praised in childhood, told about their outstanding ways of life.

Struggling with high parental expectations is common for children of narcissistic parents. Growing up and finding that they have to work hard to achieve their goals, these women begin to feel guilty because they cannot live up to the expectations of their relatives. This disconnect between early praise and adult challenges often led them to internalize their struggles as personal flaws, triggering thoughts like “What is wrong with me?” 

Such thoughts fuel the core of impostor syndrome—the persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud despite evidence of competence. Imposter syndrome is usually a consequence of some problems with self-esteem. Therefore, it is important not only to fight it, but to understand what is forming negative feelings.

4. You’re Struggling with Perfectionism

A perfectionist’s self-esteem depends on meeting their standards and requirements. That is, a worthy person has achieved their standard regardless of the opinions of others. 

At the same time, standards are often synonymous with strict rules that cannot be ignored. If they fail to achieve what they want, they may put pressure on themselves and become disappointed in life [6].

In addition, perfectionists may have some cognitive distortions in the form of:

• Black-and-white thinking, which may also be one of the narcissist traits, is when it’s either all or nothing: “Either I’m the best in the class, or a loser”.
• Focusing on the bad and ignoring the good: “I made a mistake in the report, which means I’m not a competent employee”.
• Devaluing the results of work, even if all your internal standards are met: “Anyone could have done it”.
• Double standards, when others are allowed to do something, but you can’t: “It’s normal that others cannot perform well, I have to do it spectacularly”.

Thus, when they succeed, perfectionists may feel relief instead of satisfaction with the result. In the case of failure or the slightest mistake, a person may turn to self-criticism and begin to think of themselves as a loser, strengthening the belief that achievements are the basis for their self-esteem. 

In both cases, a person deprives themselves of the opportunity to enjoy their successes and achievements, each time raising the bar and setting more unrealistic goals. Perfectionists often can’t comprehensively and independently evaluate themselves because they ignore their strengths, emphasizing weaknesses, and thinking they are not worthy of praise.

5. Your Self-Esteem Depends on What Others Think of You

If this feeling of “something is wrong with me” arises under certain circumstances and depends on the actions of others towards you or when you compare yourself to others to your disadvantage, the reason may be that your sense of self-worth is heavily influenced by external validation. This reliance on others’ opinions can deepen feelings of inadequacy, as your confidence fluctuates based on other people’s approval rather than internal assurance [7].

For example, your partner or friend looks at you with admiration, gives you compliments and attention, calls you the best, and expresses interest in you, and you really feel the best and worthy of this interest, love, care, and respect. But as soon as the same person deprives you of this attention and admiration, you already ask yourself: “What’s wrong with me, if they treat me differently than before?”

As a result, this feeling of “something is wrong with me” settles in you, bothers you, takes away your strength, and makes you feel worthless and flawed.

Do you think that your partner is a narcissist and may be affecting your self-esteem? Take the test to identify manipulative behavior.

6. You’re Facing a Life Transition or Crisis

Big life changes such as moving, breakups, job loss, illness, or even positive changes like parenthood can leave you feeling lost. These transitions can shake your identity and sense of direction. When the ground feels unstable beneath you, it’s natural to wonder, “Is it me? Did I mess up? What’s wrong with me?”

7. You’re a Sensitive Person or Have Heightened Empathy

Having heightened empathy means you feel things deeply, notice subtle changes in your environment, and often absorb the emotions of others. While emotional sensitivity is a natural trait, it may be felt as “too much”. 

Over time, this can make you feel different, overly emotional, or even broken, making you wonder, “Why am I so sensitive?” [9]. The key is learning how to protect your emotional energy and stop internalizing negative messages from others.

8. You’re in an Abusive Relationship

Typically, toxic friendships or emotional abuse in relationships can lead you to constantly question yourself, making you think, “What is wrong with me?” These toxic interactions often involve manipulation, criticism, or neglect, which can harm your confidence over time. When someone repeatedly puts you down or dismisses your feelings, it’s natural to start doubting your own judgment and abilities [8].

9. You’re Emotionally Burned Out

Burnout doesn’t just happen at work, according to studies after the COVID-19 pandemic [1]. It can come from relationships, caregiving, or simply trying to hold everything together. 

When you’ve been running on empty for too long, your mind and body may begin to break down emotionally. Feelings of numbness, detachment, irritability, and even shame are common. You may start to feel disconnected from yourself, wondering, “Why can’t I just feel normal?”

Understanding your emotions and developing emotional intelligence in the workplace will help you identify desires, tasks, and goals, and therefore, really improve your life. Take the emotional intelligence test to understand yourself better.

10. You May Have A Mental Health Condition

Depression and anxiety often show up with a deep sense that something is “off” or “wrong”, according to Harvard Health Publishing [2]. You might have trouble having enough sleep, eating, focusing, finding joy in anything, and other symptoms of a medical condition. These symptoms can lead to self-doubt and harsh self-criticism, making you question your worth. 

If you’ve been feeling this way for a while, it’s important to look at the signs your mind and body might be giving you. Sometimes, what feels like a vague sense that “something’s wrong” is your mental health trying to get your attention.

Common Signs Something Might Be Wrong

If you feel stuck and have worries about your mental health or physical illness, here are some common signs that something might be emotionally, mentally, or physically wrong [2]:

Emotional Signs

• You feel sad for no reason and may cry more often. 
• You’re more short-tempered than usual, snapping at others or wondering, “Why am I always angry and irritated for no reason?”.
• You don’t know how to feel your feelings anymore and struggle to imagine a positive future or feel like things will never improve.

Mental Signs

• You constantly overthink and replay conversations, worry about everything, or can’t quiet your mind.
• You find it hard to concentrate, forget things easily, or feel mentally foggy.
• You regularly think, “I’m not good enough,” “I’m a failure,” or even “Why do I hate myself?”
• You start believing others would be better off without you, feeling guilt or shame. 
• Hobbies, job, relationships, or even food and music feel flat or meaningless now.

Physical Signs

• You feel tired even after resting, and everyday tasks feel exhausting.
• You’re eating significantly more or less than usual, without trying to.
• You struggle with falling asleep, staying asleep, or sleeping too much.
• Stress or mental strain can show up physically, especially in your head, neck, shoulders, or stomach.
• Your body feels tight, your heart races, or you can’t sit still, even when you’re tired.

Behavioral Signs

• You avoid friends, family, or social activities—even if you once enjoyed them.
• You put off responsibilities or struggle to start even simple tasks, feeling unmotivated.
• You stop caring about hygiene, meals, or keeping your living space clean. 
• You have thoughts of self-harm or suicide.

Resources and Support for Moving Forward

If you feel like you have some mental health problems that prevent you from working, building communications, and living a fulfilling life, you can work through them with a mental health professional. Here are some resources that can help:

1. Mental Health Professional

Licensed mental health professionals can help you understand the root causes of your feelings and develop healthy coping mechanisms for daily life. 

2. Crisis Support and Hotlines

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
• Crisis Text Line. Text HELLO to 741741 for free, 24/7 support

3. Support Networks

• NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) offers free support groups and educational programs across the U.S.
• Mental Health America provides online screening tools and support resources
• 7 Cups offers free, anonymous chats with trained volunteer listeners and online communities

4. Self-Help Books

• The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
• Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff
• Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by Dr. David D. Burns

5. Mental Health Apps

The Breeze app can be a helpful tool for people in therapy and those working on their mental health alone. Using Breeze even for just a few minutes daily can help you identify your core values, become more self-aware, develop healthier habits and coping mechanisms, and change your life for the better.

The app offers a variety of tests that will give you insights into your personality, childhood, career, relationships, and response patterns. In addition, several calming games may help you feel less anxious, rest after work, or focus on your feelings. 

Here you will also find self-reflection questions to help you concentrate on your successes and things that make you happy and bring joy to your life. By doing them regularly, you can create the habit of appreciating the positive. No matter your obstacles, this can help you become more emotionally resilient and maintain an optimistic outlook.

Moreover, if you regularly use Breeze Wellbeing to record and briefly explain your feelings, you will be entirely in charge of how you react to stress over time. As a result, you can always steer clear of these situations or view them differently once you recognize the pattern and understand what usually causes your worries.

Try Breeze

How to Start Coping and Feeling Better

If you feel stuck dealing with a traumatic past or your own thoughts forming a negative spiral, you may need to develop coping skills to change your reality in a healthy way:

1. Monitor your experiences and emotions

To understand what is “wrong” in your life and identify what exactly you should work on, try to understand your emotions. Are you sad? Angry? Overwhelmed? Lonely? Anxious? Naming the emotion helps you gain control over it instead of letting it control you. 

Try journaling to identify your feelings. Practice free writing or write down your worries and achievements every day for a month, without judging them.

If you don’t know how to start, here are some ideas for prompts:

• What supports my self-doubt? 
• Is there anyone who considers me worthy?
• Why do I think my achievements are insignificant?
• How are my doubts useful to me?
• Which of my experiences confirms my significance, and which denies it? 
• What is my value?

By analyzing your emotions, you can learn to understand what exactly is bothering you. It could be insecurity, fear, shame, or something else. Don’t judge yourself for what you feel. Any of your emotions have every right to exist and are significant. They help you evaluate and express your state and relieve tension.

2. Challenge negative self-talk

Difficult situations don’t define you. Changing your attitude to difficulties and changing your actions in these situations may help to improve your overall well-being.

Let’s try to change the focus. Instead of asking, “What is wrong with me?” try asking:

• “What happened? What factors influence this situation? 
• “What am I feeling right now?”
• “What do I need?”
• “What would help me feel a little better?”
• “Who can I talk to about this?”

These questions show self-compassion. They’re focused on curiosity, not judgment. In addition, when you focus on events and facts, and not on your personality, you discover new ways to solve problems. This may help you not to feel like a victim of circumstances, but to become an active participant in your life.

3. Prioritize self-care time

Try to get enough sleep, keep a healthy diet, and move your body in ways that feel good, not punishing. Relaxation techniques and even simply taking a warm bath after a work day and spending time in fresh air at weekends may have a significant impact on your mood. 

Practice self-care and calm down activities like body scan meditation, loving-kindness meditation, mindful walking, deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, and more. These mindfulness activities keep you grounded in the present, allowing you to manage negative emotions and relieve stress [10].

4. Start practicing gratitude

Every day, find at least five things you are grateful for. This can be anything from a morning cup of coffee to a smile from a stranger on the street. When we actively look for positive moments, our brain gradually switches to a more optimistic mode [11]. This could be an emotional breakthrough, a new skill you’ve learned, or a shift in perspective. For example:

1. What’s something new you’ve discovered about yourself that surprised you?
2. What strengths of yours are you most grateful for?
3. How have you grown in the last month?
4. What is a recent achievement that you’re proud of?
5. What personal situations have you dealt with that make you feel proud?

FAQ

1. Is it normal to feel like something is wrong with me?

Yes. Asking “What is wrong with me?” may feel like a sign of failure, but it’s not. It means:

• You’re self-aware
• You’re seeking clarity
• You’re brave enough to confront uncomfortable emotions
• You care enough to wonder how to be the best version of yourself

2. What mental illness makes you feel like something’s wrong?

3. Can your mind trick you into thinking something’s wrong?

4. Can stress make you feel disconnected?

Chronic or intense stress can cause dissociation or a sense of emotional or physical disconnection. This may show up as:

• Feeling numb or detached from yourself or your surroundings (depersonalization or derealization)
• Trouble concentrating or remembering things
• Loss of joy or meaning in daily activities

These are your brain’s way of protecting you when it feels overwhelmed, but they can make you feel like you’re not fully “there,” which is unsettling.

5. How do I stop overthinking that something is wrong with me?

You can start to feel better by talking to someone you trust, seeing a therapist, practicing mindfulness, and learning to challenge negative thoughts. 

Sources

1. Sergio Edú-Valsania, Ana Laguía, Juan A Moriano. Burnout: A Review of Theory and Measurement. February 2022.
2. Howard E. LeWine, MD, Chief Medical Editor, Harvard Health Publishing. Are you missing these signs of anxiety or depression? September 2024.
3. Warrender D, Milne R. How use of social media and social comparison affect mental health. February 2020. 
4. Konrad AC, Förster K, Stretton J, Dalgleish T, Böckler-Raettig A, Trautwein FM, Singer T, Kanske P. Risk factors for internalizing symptoms: The influence of empathy, theory of mind, and negative thinking processes. February 2024.
5. Pauline Rose Clance, Suzanne Imes. The Imposter Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention.
6. Jessica A. Kent. Perfectionism Might Be Hurting You. Here’s How to Change Your Relationship to Achievement. November 2023.
7. Muris P, Otgaar H. Self-Esteem and Self-Compassion: A Narrative Review and Meta-Analysis on Their Links to Psychological Problems and Well-Being. August 2023.
8. Qianglong Wang, Yankui Su, Ping Song, Anthony A. Vivino, Rongbao Li. The impact of self-esteem and interpersonal relationships on the processing of verbal violence: Evidence from ERPs. January 2025.
9. Acevedo BP, Aron EN, Aron A, Sangster MD, Collins N, Brown LL. The highly sensitive brain: an fMRI study of sensory processing sensitivity and response to others’ emotions. July 2014.
10. Daphne M. Davis, PhD, and Jeffrey A. Hayes, PhD. “What are the benefits of mindfulness?” July/August 2012.
11. National Library of Medicine. The effects of gratitude interventions: a systematic review and meta-analysis. July 2023.