Do you often have thoughts like “I’m not as good as others” or “Why do I feel worthless?”
Certainly, feeling worthless can be a painful and isolating experience. It can come from various sources, such as past experiences, personal beliefs, or external circumstances.
Still, understanding the root cause of feeling worthless and learning ways to cope with it can help you regain a sense of self-worth and well-being.
Why Do I Feel Worthless? Causes of Worthlessness
Feeling worthless is often the result of a combination of factors rather than just one thing. Typically, people who think, “I feel worthless,” do so for the following reasons:
1. Past trauma
Negative childhood experiences such as childhood neglect or emotional abuse can deeply impact how you perceive yourself.
Generally, if you grew up being the black sheep of the family or feeling unloved, unseen, or unimportant, it can affect your self-esteem in adulthood.
Over time, you may think, “My family treated me badly, so I must deserve it,” or “Why does nobody like me?”
Explore more about how childhood trauma can affect your self-worth. Take a test to understand the connection and find helpful steps toward recovery.
2. Chronic stress or burnout
Overworking and chronic stress can contribute to emotional exhaustion [4]. Feeling constantly overwhelmed, juggling multiple responsibilities, and not making progress can trigger negative thoughts and feelings.
Eventually, when you’ve been feeling like a failure for a long time, you may start to believe that “I am worthless.”
3. Loss or grief
Experiencing a significant loss—whether it’s the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or feeling lost in life—can make you feel that you are worthless.
Moreover, experiencing infidelity in a relationship can also profoundly affect your sense of self-worth and leave you questioning many aspects of your identity.
If your partner has cheated on you, it can feel like a profound loss. Not just of the relationship itself but also of the trust, security, and emotional investment you’ve put into that relationship.
As a result, the emotional fallout can lead to feelings of shame and self-doubt, making you wonder how to stop overthinking after being cheated on.
4. Mental health issues
Mental health conditions like depression or anxiety can involve feelings of worthlessness [1], [2]. Low energy, hopelessness, and a lack of motivation can make you feel like you don’t have value or that you’ll never feel better.
Rychel Johnson, a licensed clinical professional counselor, explained how a person who struggles with feeling worthless can understand that they need the help of a therapist.
If these feelings of worthlessness are persistent or interfere with daily life, it may be a sign that professional support is needed. A therapist can offer a safe space to explore these emotions and help identify their origins. Therapy can provide strategies to challenge negative self-perceptions and build healthier thought patterns. Seeking help is not a reflection of weakness or failure — it’s a step toward self-care and healing. Recognizing that you deserve to feel better, even if it’s hard to believe now, is the first step toward finding relief and rediscovering your worth.
What To Do If You’re Feeling Worthless
Typically, feeling worthless is not a reflection of reality but rather an emotional state influenced by multiple factors. Here are some strategies that may help:
1. Challenge negative thoughts
Identify and question negative thoughts like “I am worthless” to reshape your mindset and build a healthier self-perception.
Here’s a step-by-step guide:
Step 1: Identify the negative thought
Pay attention to the specific thoughts that arise when you are feeling worthless. These might sound like:
- “Why would anyone want to be around me?”
- “I feel worthless; I don’t deserve happiness.”
- “I’m invisible, and I hate myself.”
Write these thoughts down. Seeing them on paper can often reveal how exaggerated or untrue they are.
Step 2: Question the evidence
Ask yourself:
- What evidence do I have that this thought is true?
- What evidence do I have that it’s not true?
Example:
Negative thought: “I can never do anything right because I am worthless.”
- Evidence for: “I made a mistake on my work project last week.”
- Evidence against: “I successfully completed several projects before. My manager also praised me for my efforts recently.”
Step 3: Reframe the thought
Once you’ve identified that a thought is unhelpful, replace it with a more balanced and constructive statement.
Example:
Negative thought: “I am worthless and not good enough to achieve my goals.”
Reframed thought: “I may face challenges, but I am learning and improving every day. Progress takes time, and I’m taking steps in the right direction.”
Step 4: Use neutral or positive language
Negative thoughts while feeling worthless are often absolute or harsh, using words like “always,” “never,” or “worthless.” Replace these with softer, more realistic language.
Example:
Negative thought: “My life is worthless. I always mess things up.”
Reframed thought: “Sometimes I make mistakes, but I also have many successes. Mistakes are part of learning.”
Step 5: Perspective shift
Ask yourself:
- How would I respond if a friend shared this thought?
- Would I judge them as harshly as I’m judging myself?
Example:
Negative thought: “Nobody cares about me.”
Perspective shift: “If a friend felt this way, I would remind them of the times I was there for them and encourage them to reach out for support. Maybe I need to do the same for myself when I’m feeling worthless.”
Step 6: Practice thought replacement regularly
Consistency is key. Whenever you catch yourself thinking, “Why do I feel worthless?” follow these steps.
2. Set achievable goals
Achieving even small, manageable goals can help you regain a sense of control over your life and overcome feeling worthless. Here’s how to effectively set and accomplish achievable goals:
Step 1: Start small and be specific
Broad goals can be overwhelming, so break them down into clear, actionable steps.
Example:
- Instead of: “I want to be healthier,”
Try: “I will go for a 15-minute walk three times this week.”
Step 2: Be flexible and adjust when needed
Sometimes, life gets in the way, or goals may turn out to be too ambitious. It’s okay to adjust your goals to fit your current circumstances. This doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it shows you’re adaptable.
Example:
If your initial goal was to exercise five days a week and it feels too much, adjust it to three days and build up gradually.
Step 3: Keep a goal journal or tracker
Document your progress to visualize your achievements and fight thoughts like “I feel worthless.” Seeing evidence of your efforts can boost your motivation and remind you how far you’ve come.
Example:
Use a notebook or app to track completed tasks, like the number of pages you’ve read, miles you’ve walked, or tasks you’ve accomplished at work.
Step 4: Set long-term and short-term goals
Balance immediate, short-term goals with bigger, long-term ones. Short-term goals provide quick rewards, while long-term goals give you something meaningful to move toward.
Example:
- Short-term: “Learn 10 new words in Spanish this week.”
- Long-term: “Hold a basic conversation in Spanish by the end of six months.”
Step 5: Reflect and reset regularly
Take time to reflect on your progress and reset your goals as necessary. Regular reflection helps you identify what’s working, what’s not, and what adjustments you need to make to overcome feeling worthless.
Example:
At the end of each month, review your goals. If you’ve achieved one, set a new goal. If you’ve struggled with a goal, brainstorm solutions or scale it down.
3. Build supportive relationships
Supportive relationships can be encouraging, understanding, and a safe space to share your thoughts, like “I feel worthless.” Here’s how you can create meaningful and supportive connections in your life:
Step 1: Be open and vulnerable
Sharing when you’re feeling worthless allows others to understand you better and offer support.
Example:
Instead of saying, “I’m fine,” when you’re struggling, try: “I’ve been feeling worthless lately, and I’d appreciate some advice or just someone to talk to.”
Step 2: Express mutual care
Show empathy, listen actively, and be there for others during their times of need.
Example:
If a friend tells you about a difficult situation, respond with kindness and understanding, such as: “I’m here for you. How can I help?”
Step 3: Set boundaries with toxic people
Sometimes, relationships can be draining or harmful. It’s important to limit interactions with people who belittle or manipulate. If you’re consistently feeling worthless in a relationship, it may be a sign to set a firm boundary.
Example:
If someone constantly criticizes you, kindly but firmly set a boundary: “I value our relationship, but I feel hurt by the negative comments. Can we try to focus on more positive conversations?”
Step 4: Invest time and effort
Make a conscious effort to nurture your connections by regularly checking in, spending quality time, and celebrating milestones together.
Example:
Schedule regular coffee dates with a friend or send a thoughtful message to let someone know you’re thinking of them.
Step 5: Be honest
Try to express your needs, listen actively, and resolve conflicts constructively.
Example:
If you don’t feel supported in a relationship, try saying something like, “I’ve been feeling worthless and a bit distant lately. Can we spend some time together and reconnect?”
Step 6: Be patient with new relationships
Building trust and intimacy takes time. Don’t rush the process—focus on creating respect and understanding.
Example:
If you’re making a new friend, start with light, enjoyable activities like going for a walk or having casual conversations before delving into deeper topics.
4. Limit comparisons
Constantly comparing yourself to others can provoke feeling worthless [5]. Here’s how to limit comparisons and focus on your own journey:
Step 1: Recognize the trap of comparison
Comparing your everyday life to someone else’s highlights is neither fair nor realistic.
Example:
You might see a friend’s vacation photos and feel envious, but you don’t see the hard work, sacrifices, or challenges they faced to afford that trip.
Step 2: Focus on your own progress
Try to compare your current self to your past self. Acknowledge how far you’ve come, even if progress feels slow.
Example:
- Instead of thinking, “I’m not as fit as my coworker. I feel worthless,” reflect on how your fitness has improved over time: “Last month, I could only run half a mile, and now I can run a full mile.”
Step 3: Reduce time spent on social media
Social media is a significant source of comparison [6]. Reduce the time you spend on platforms that trigger feelings of worthlessness. Unfollow accounts that make you think, “I feel worthless.”
Step 4: Remember the сontext
Everyone’s circumstances are different. What works for someone else might not work for you—and that’s okay.
Example:
- If a friend starts a business and finds success quickly, remember that they may have had prior experience, support systems, or resources you don’t have yet.
Step 5: Practice self-compassion
When you are feeling worthless, remember that everyone has struggles and that it’s okay not to have everything figured out.
Example:
Instead of thinking, “I’m so behind in life, I am worthless,” reframe it as, “I’m doing my best, and everyone’s journey is different.”
5. Seek professional help
If feelings of worthlessness persist, consider speaking to a therapist or counselor. They can help identify deeper causes and guide you through healing.
Breeze also asked Rychel Johnson, M.S., LCPC, how therapy can help overcome the feeling of being worthless.
Therapy can help overcome feelings of worthlessness by providing a supportive environment to explore these emotions without judgment. A therapist helps identify the underlying causes of these feelings, such as past experiences, thought patterns, or unrealistic expectations. Through techniques like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), you can learn to recognize and challenge distorted beliefs that contribute to self-criticism. Therapy also equips people with healthier coping strategies and fosters self-compassion, helping them build a more balanced and accurate view of themselves.
Sources
1. National Library of Medicine. “The Psychopathology of Worthlessness in Depression”. May 2022.
2. Cambridge University Press. “Feelings of worthlessness links depressive symptoms and parental stress.” July 2021.
3. National Library of Medicine. “I Am Worthless and Kind“; the specificity of positive and negative self‐evaluation in adolescent depression. December 2018.
4. ScienceDirect. Emotional Exhaustion. 2023
5. ResearchGate. Effects of users’ envy and shame on social comparison that occurs on social network services. October 2016.
6. OxJournal. Social comparison in social media. August 2023.
