Avoidant Attachment Style Quiz

Have you ever wondered how your attachment style influences your relationships? Attachment theory identifies four main attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and ambivalent. This style of emotional interaction affects the further development of close relationships with others [1]. 

​​People with an avoidant attachment style tend to avoid intimate connections because they are afraid of being vulnerable, rejected, or losing their independence. This pattern can lead to feelings of loneliness, isolation, and being misunderstood. Let’s find out whether it’s your attachment style.

Attachment Style Quiz: Do You Have Secure Attachment?

This attachment style quiz can help you understand if you have the signs of an avoidant attachment style. For each statement, choose the answer that best fits your experience: Yes / Sometimes / No.

Please note that this attachment styles test is just a guideline for personal exploration. It doesn’t consider individual characteristics and isn’t meant to provide a diagnosis. We strongly recommend consulting a mental health professional for additional support and advice.

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1. Do you often feel awkward when someone gets to know you well?

• Yes
• Sometimes
• No

2. Do you prefer solving problems on your own rather than asking for help?

• Yes
• Sometimes
• No

3. Do you often feel that people are too needy or demanding?

• Yes
• Sometimes
• No

4. Do you avoid talking about your past emotional experiences?

• Yes
• Sometimes
• No

5. Do you prefer casual friendships over deep connections?

• Yes
• Sometimes
• No

6. Do you often fear being controlled or suffocated by your romantic partners?

• Yes
• Sometimes
• No

7. Do you sometimes feel guilty for needing others’ support?

• Yes
• Sometimes
• No

8. Do you feel uncomfortable when others express strong emotions to you?

• Yes
• Sometimes
• No

9. Do you struggle with emotional closeness?

• Yes
• Sometimes
• No

10. Do you often prioritize independence over building relationships?

• Yes
• Sometimes
• No

11. Do you feel anxious or uneasy when someone seeks support from you?

• Yes
• Sometimes
• No

12. Do you avoid deep conversations about feelings in relationships?

• Yes
• Sometimes
• No

Attachment Styles Quiz Results

Mostly “Yes”: Low avoidant traits

You tend to avoid emotional closeness and may value independence over connection. It’s common for people with an insecure attachment style to suppress emotions, have a fear of intimacy, or experience discomfort when depending on others. Although your attachment style likely made you feel safe in your childhood experiences, it can now keep you from developing close, meaningful relationships.

Mostly “Sometimes”: Moderate avoidant traits

You may enjoy connecting with others, but sometimes struggle with trust, vulnerability, or depending on your friends or romantic partners. You might think, “Why do I push people away?” when things feel “too close,” or wonder how to feel your feelings and talk about them. 

You may value independence, but this can sometimes create distance. With self-awareness and practice, you can learn to be emotionally available while still keeping healthy boundaries.

Mostly “No”: High avoidant traits

You’re comfortable with closeness, intimacy, and expressing emotions. You can rely on others without fear of being controlled or rejected, and you usually feel safe sharing your thoughts and feelings. Relationships typically bring you security rather than stress, and you can balance independence with connection.

How Avoidant Attachment Style Impacts Adult Relationships

Avoidant attachment in adulthood can take different forms, most often showing up as fearful-avoidant or dismissive-avoidant behaviors. According to research on the insecure pattern of attachment, both styles are rooted in a deep discomfort with emotional closeness, but they express this in distinct ways [2].

Dismissive-avoidant attachment style

Dismissive-avoidant attachment style is the most emotionally closed way of interacting with a partner. Here are common traits of a person with an avoidant attachment style:

• desire for independence, freedom, avoidance of dependence on a partner;
• maintaining emotional distance;
• lack of emotional response;
• avoidance of closeness;
• difficulty in reaching out in relationships.

A person with a dismissive attachment style tends to minimize the importance of emotions and intimacy. While they can form attachments, they often suppress or ignore emotional needs to maintain independence. As a result, avoiding conflicts and suppressing emotions can lead to unresolved issues within relationships and even health issues, as 2024 research states [3]. 

Fearful-avoidant attachment styles (Anxious-avoidant, disorganized attachment style)

This insecure attachment style is a combination of the avoidant and anxious attachment styles. Relationship dynamics in this situation may be unstable since one person may push a partner away one day and seek intimacy the next, wondering, how to fix anxious attachment style. 

In relationships, people with fearful-avoidant attachment styles may express the following traits:

• tension;
• distrust;
• suspicion;
• feeling of loneliness;
• fear of disappointment;
• demandingness;
• clinginess;
• conflicts in order to attract the partner’s attention;
• unstable emotional state.

They often show a “push-pull” dynamic in relationships, moving towards closeness but then withdrawing when they feel vulnerable or rejected. This can feel unpredictable to partners.

People with a fearful-avoidant attachment style may see themselves as unworthy of love or incapable of maintaining stable relationships. They may have low self-esteem and blame themselves for relationship difficulties, wondering, “Why do I feel guilty all the time?”.

They experience high anxiety being close to people, need constant reassurance, overanalyze partners’ behaviors, and become hypervigilant about signs of rejection. As a result, they may unconsciously sabotage relationships. For their romantic partners, this communication often feels turbulent and emotionally intense.

How to Develop a Secure Attachment Style

A person who has a secure attachment style is one who consistently forms close relationships, knows their emotional needs, isn’t afraid to express their love or commitment, and is able to support their partner’s emotions. They also have a stable sense of self and a solid self-worth regardless of their relationship status.

Although attachment style is formed in childhood, it is not permanent. Building a secure attachment in adulthood is very much possible. Conscious self-improvement, psychotherapy, and self-reflection are ways to help a person understand their fears and change their negative thoughts to develop a more secure attachment style and foster healthy relationships.

What tools can help you become more self-aware? The Breeze app offers personalized quizzes, such as the emotional intelligence test, narcissistic partner test, childhood trauma test, and emotional availability quiz, that can help you see patterns you might not be aware of. 

Moreover, the app also has self-reflective journaling prompts to help you slow down, identify your emotions, and understand what makes you feel anxious or frustrated, using the Breeze mood tracker and mood notes to monitor your improvements over time.

Finally, you can use Breeze’s customized routines to set up goals like “Practice gratitude with your partner” or “Share one small secret or personal story each week” to overcome your avoidance in close relationships. Then, you can mark off each goal as you go and track your progress.

Sources

1. Li, Yuxuan. “How does attachment style influence early childhood development?” February 2023
2. Cassidy J, Berlin LJ. The insecure/ambivalent pattern of attachment: Theory and research. 
3. Tyra AT, Fergus TA, Ginty AT. Emotion suppression and acute physiological responses to stress in healthy populations: a quantitative review of experimental and correlational investigations. June 2024