Are You A Difficult Person?

A difficult person is someone who’s challenging to communicate with. They might neglect people’s feelings, have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, and exhibit narcissistic tendencies. Other people may avoid them and minimize communication to reduce the number of conflicts. Take this free “Are You A Difficult Person” Test to recognize this behavior and understand how it might influence your relationships with others.

”How Difficult Are You?” Test was designed with contribution from mental health professionals to help you identify traits that may make your interactions with others more challenging. If you’ve noticed recurring conflicts, misunderstandings, or tension in your relationships, this self-assessment can help you understand why.

You will answer 18 short questions about how you typically think, feel, and behave in everyday situations. Most people finish it in 5–7 minutes. For each one, you’ll choose whether you agree, disagree, or are not sure. Just pick the option that best reflects how you generally behave.

Once you finish, you’ll receive a detailed overview of any difficult-person tendencies you may have and insight into specific traits such as defensiveness, suspicion, and dominance. Breeze will also provide a personalized plan to help you communicate more effectively and build healthier connections.

Anyone who wants to better understand how their behaviors, reactions, and communication style impact their relationships can benefit from this test. The test is not a diagnosis, but it can offer valuable insight into patterns such as defensiveness, suspicion, dominance, callousness, or manipulativeness. Recognizing these traits is the first step toward improving how you relate to others.

These are the most common personality traits that can influence the result:

1. Callousness means that you may come across as cold or unemotional. It may be difficult for you to understand and interpret the feelings of others.
2. Grandiosity is a feeling that you’re inherently better than others or more deserving of specific virtues. Grandiose people may live with a narcissistic personality disorder or exhibit some of its traits without a clinical diagnosis.
3. Aggressiveness means that you find it challenging to control your emotions, particularly around shame, anger, or fear. You feel a strong need to defend yourself and to stand your ground, even if it leads to arguments.
4. Suspicion refers to a state of being on edge and finding it challenging to be honest with someone or trust others. You may hide everything inside and process worries on your own to avoid being vulnerable.
5. Manipulativeness means that you struggle with needing to assume control over a situation. This can show up via subtle control (passive-aggression, people-pleasing), persuasion, or taking advantage of other people’s vulnerabilities.
6. Dominance is a desire to lead others and control. It can be about leadership skills, but it may also turn into a need to always be in charge and leave little room for others’ opinions.
7. Risk-taking refers to a desire to make impulsive decisions that might get you into trouble. While sometimes it can lead to unpredictable adventures, it can also create trouble for you and close ones.

Good interpersonal skills can help you build strong relationships and improve communication with others. [1] If the difficult personality test has shown you a high score, you may need to focus on the following.

1. Ask for constructive criticism

   When you lack self-awareness of when you might be rude, the people closest to you can help. Ask trusted friends or family members to share honest examples of your behavior. They may highlight situations when they felt offended or hurt. Your goal is to hear them and avoid similar actions in the future.

2. Pause before you react

   If impulsivity is one of your key personality traits, it may be challenging to respond calmly. Instead, take one slow breath or count to 10 when you want to answer aggressively.

3. Work on active listening

   A desire to dominate in conversations can easily turn into conversational narcissism. Instead, when you listen attentively to someone and ask clarifying questions, it increases relationship satisfaction and social bonding. [2]

   Here are some of the key factors that can help you show genuine interest in others:

   • Maintain eye contact
   • Paraphrase what you hear to show that you understand the topic
   • Don’t interrupt a person
   • Ask open-ended questions
   • Notice nonverbal cues, like body posture or facial expressions
   • Validate their emotions
   • Avoid jumping to conclusions or quick solutions to “fix” their problem
4. Get aware of your emotions

   You may react aggressively or be manipulative toward others because of past wounds that still influence your present behavior. For instance, childhood trauma, growing up with narcissistic parents, or unresolved past conflicts can shape your responses.

   The Breeze app provides features that allow you to find what motivates such behavior.

   • The mood tracker can help you notice specific triggers and learn how to feel your feelings.
   • Journaling helps to spot the roots, reflect on your worries, and learn to deal with them.
   • Self-discovery tests provide accurate assessments of your inner patterns. They help you find out how you approach the world and people around you while providing insights to become the best version of yourself.
5. Learn to open up step by step

   Now that you know why others may consider you a difficult person and how to deal with it, it’s time to take action. It can take some effort to change behavioral patterns you’ve built for years, especially if you’ve faced a negative experience in the past. Studies prove that those whose parents had divorced or who had experienced a relationship breakdown had lower trust scores. [3]

   However, embracing change is still possible. To learn to be emotionally available and kinder to others, you can:

   • Start by telling small, everyday thoughts to someone you trust
   • Listen and respond openly when others share with you
   • Share your feelings about a neutral or positive experience
   • Reach out to a mental health professional to learn to be more open