Parenting Style Quiz & How It Shapes Your Child’s Behavior

Strictness or softness? Authoritarianism or permissiveness? There are supporters of different behaviors with children. According to researchers, there are four main parenting styles: authoritarian, permissive, neglectful, and authoritative [1] Ariana Awiszus, Melissa Koenig, Julie Vaisarova. Parenting Styles and Their Effect on Child Development and Outcome. August 2022. . Which one is yours? Let’s take a parenting style quiz to find out.

4 Parenting Style Types

1. Authoritarian parenting style

In an authoritarian parenting style, all decisions are made by the parents as authority figures. Usually, authoritarian parents limit the child’s independence, considering it unnecessary to explain their rules to the children. Their word is the law, and it can not be discussed or challenged. They may also have high expectations of the children and often use punishment to shape certain behaviors [2] Kuppens S, Ceulemans E. Parenting styles: A closer look at a well-known concept. September 2018. .

Children of authoritarian parents may grow up dependent, have low self-esteem, and lack initiative. Some become very independent because they don’t want to burden others or be negatively judged if they make a mistake. Such behavior is also typical of children of narcissistic parents. In adulthood, such children may think, “Why is everyone so mean to me?“.

If you notice these patterns in your parenting, try explaining the reasoning behind your rules to help children feel respected and included.

Start by taking an emotional intelligence test to become more warm and supportive.

2. Permissive parenting style

The main feature of a permissive parenting style is excessive parental care for their child, overprotection, as well as actions that contribute to “making life easier.” Such parents satisfy children’s whims, relieve them of the slightest challenges, exaggerate the child’s talents, and have almost no rules.

Growing up in such a family, a child may acquire such character traits as self-centeredness, a tendency to outbursts of aggression, difficulties with discipline, and the inability to control their emotions.

If you recognize these patterns in your parenting style, try to set consistent boundaries and follow through with consequences when needed. Encourage your child to solve small problems on their own. This, in turn, may help build confidence and help them learn that frustration and failure are parts of learning and growth.

3. Neglectful parenting style

Usually, if parents adhere to this style of upbringing, they rarely know what their children are doing or how they are feeling in a given moment. They may ignore the child’s needs and desires, being emotionally indifferent. 

Sometimes, they may believe that by being distant and uninvolved, they promote the independence of the child. To compensate for their absence in a child’s life, they may “pay off” with expensive gifts or trips. Therefore, such children may feel abandoned, thinking, “Why do I hate my birthday?”.

As adults, they may have difficulties setting boundaries and get into toxic friendships or abusive relationships. They may find themselves constantly seeking love or approval because they didn’t receive enough of that when it was most important.

Show interest in your child’s world regularly, ask questions, and listen actively. Creating daily routines can help your child feel seen, valued, and supported.

If this was your parents’ behavior pattern, you may be wondering if it could affect your life. Take this free childhood trauma test to find out.

4. Authoritative parenting style

Such parents give guidance to their children while being warm and emotionally available, and providing support. They explain the rules to their children and are ready to discuss them, changing them, if the child can offer reasoning.

The child is given the freedom to deal with the consequences of their own choices and desires. Such parents raise children with a sense of freedom, from the choice of clothes to the choice of a future job.

Research on authoritative parenting shows that this parenting style contributes to further life satisfaction in young people [3] Lavrič M, Naterer A. The power of authoritative parenting: A cross-national study of effects of exposure to different parenting styles on life satisfaction. September 2020. . Parents who adhere to this parenting style tend to be the most effective, attentive, and warm. They are always ready to give advice, support in a difficult situation, and share their knowledge and experience. 

In such a family, the child understands that their opinion matters, and is more likely to grow up independent and self-confident, socially adapted, and able to make reasonable decisions and achieve success.

Why Take a Parenting Style Test?

A parenting style test may help you quickly identify your usual approach to parenting, spot strengths and blind spots, and get practical ideas to improve communication, consistency, and discipline with your child. Even small efforts to reconnect can make a lasting impact.

How Does the Test Work?

A parenting style test asks a series of questions about how you respond to your child’s behavior, set rules, communicate, and provide support. Your answers are analyzed to identify the parenting style that most closely matches your approach and provide insights into your parenting strengths and areas for growth.

Advice from Mental Health Professional

Here are practical steps to apply authoritative parenting in everyday life:

1. Practice Active Listening. Ask open-ended questions like “How did that make you feel?” or “What do you think is a fair solution?”

2. Encourage Independence Within Limits. Support your child in making age-appropriate decisions to build confidence and decision-making skills. Let them choose their clothes or plan a weekend activity, but provide guidance if needed.

3. Set Clear Boundaries and Explain Them. For example, instead of saying, “Because I said so,” try: “You need to finish your homework before playing because schoolwork helps you learn responsibility.”

Sources

1. Ariana Awiszus, Melissa Koenig, Julie Vaisarova. Parenting Styles and Their Effect on Child Development and Outcome. August 2022.
2. Kuppens S, Ceulemans E. Parenting styles: A closer look at a well-known concept. September 2018.
3. Lavrič M, Naterer A. The power of authoritative parenting: A cross-national study of effects of exposure to different parenting styles on life satisfaction. September 2020.